Bitter or Better

So it's 1 in the morning. Since becoming a mother, most of my nights end around 10, maybe 10:30 if I am feeling a little dangerous. But I've been awake since midnight and the Lord and I have been talking. And I had the feeling He wanted me to write, so here I am. Perhaps these late night thoughts will speak to someone….

This past week has been tough. Having five children down with the flu is not for the faint hearted. And don't let me fool you that I am tough. I have been beyond weak during this ordeal, and it ain't over yet. But tonight after dinner, I was lying on the couch, disappointment and frustration eating away at me. Silently in my head, I started naming all the injustices and inconveniences that I felt I was given this week. I will spare you that one, but a small voice whispered to me, "But what are you thankful for?"

And I felt quite convicted. Because I am a gift lister. I have a little notebook that I write down things that I notice during my days that I am thankful for. Do you think I touched it this week? Noooooo. "But Lord, if only I could cough this junk up and out and breathe deeply, I'd be able to be more thankful."

"In all things, give thanks."

"Oh, right. I am sorry. I will try."

"Right now?"

"I am thankful that even though we are under the weather now, it won't last forever. I am thankful for eyes that can still see beautiful sunsets. For a husband who even though he is sick, is still out working and providing for us. For friends who call or text to see how we are doing. For children who are playing and trying to get along even though they don't feel well. For little girls that want to cuddle and a little boy who will walk through a room and tell me he loves me."

"Feeling better?"

"Yes, Lord. Please forgive me. I forgot."

I forgot that when we close our hand to God, we think we are protecting ourselves and what is "ours", but we are only closing ourselves off from receiving His gifts. Sometimes they don't feel like gifts, sometimes we feel like we are on the punching block, but there is always something to be thankful for. Look for it. It's there. You might not see it that day, but a week from now, a month, it could take years. There are things I have experienced in life that have taken years for me to see the gift.

I want to live life openhanded. Not just so I can receive and receive from the Lord, and believe me, I do want to receive good things from the Lord. But I also want to give back to the Lord. Give back myself, and allow Him to mold me and change me, to draw me closer to Himself. To take my eyes off myself and what I feel I am owed or deserved.

We have an amazing example in Christ. On the night he was betrayed, he broke bread and gave thanks. The night before he was to go through the most agonizing pain ever experienced to man, He gave thanks. And there are many other times throughout Scripture where it is mentioned Jesus gave thanks. That isn't in there just to sound amazing. It's there to teach us an important truth. Even in the midst of intense battle and heartache, we are to give thanks. God is there.

I just want to encourage you today, friend, that God is there. Always there. But we must live open handed. Giving and receiving, and always, in everything, giving thanks.





"Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." I Thessalonians 5:18

Friday's Photos from the Farm

Here are a few photos from around the farm. It is starting to green up and it's so lovely to see. Color is a beautiful thing! 

And the kids have enjoyed the warm weather and being able to play outside! Enjoy your weekend!

Compassion Haiti Trip 2014, Day Four

Sorry it's taken a while for me to finish up about our trip. We did make it home! Unfortunately, we came home and three days later the house came down with the stomach flu. And it decided it wanted to stick around for over a week! I guess it takes a while to make its rounds through seven people. I also had catch up to do for the office, so back to Haiti…..

Thursday morning we checked out of our hotel, loaded up our luggage and head back to Port au Prince.  We went to the Haiti field office for Compassion. This is the main hub where the letters come to and are translated and then sent out to the projects, among many other things that happen here.

Compassion's motto: Releasing children from poverty in Jesus' Name.

Compassion's mission statement

We went on a tour of the office. We also got to meet the staff and ask them any questions we had. There was also a little time where a staff member from each department came and told us specifically what they do. My favorite was this guy below. His name is Abel. He was a sponsored child. He went through the program and was sponsored even through the LDP program (Leadership Development Program). After finishing university, he got a job at the Haiti office and is now sponsoring two children through Compassion! I love seeing everything come full circle. He was just a really neat man. So excited for the future of Compassion and the country of Haiti. There is so much hope for this country within the walls of this office.

Abel telling us what he does

After our time at the main office, we went to a Best Western in the city and had lunch. It was a great time to visit with each other and continue sharing our thoughts about the trip thus far.

 After lunch, we got to do some shopping along the street. Haitians are known for their art. Their paintings are amazing. We brought home two paintings of typical Haitian life. They are so beautiful.

After we checked into our last hotel, we had dinner and met with three LDP graduates. It was neat to hear their stories of breaking the cycle of poverty, getting an education and going back to their towns to encourage and some even work to help educate their neighborhoods. The desire and passion of these students to make a difference in their country is so inspiring.

 Friday morning we had breakfast and then had to load up and head back to the airport. It was time to leave this beautiful place.

But we took the time to get a couple more team pictures before we left. We were such a diverse group of people, but connected so deeply because we love our sponsored children, and now have a great love for this country of Haiti. It was such an amazing experience.

view from our plane of the ocean below

 Once we returned to Miami and got through customs and picked up our luggage, it was hard to say goodbye to these amazing friends we had met during the last several days. I am so glad that God put together this team of people from all over the country and world.

So now what? I am trying to process and figure out how we come home from an experience like that and don't forget. I know we want to raise our children with an international view. God isn't American. Life doesn't begin and end with America. There is a whole world out there, desperate for compassion, for the love of Jesus. And the only way they are going to hear it and know it is through us. God has given us the amazing privilege of being His hands and feet.

So one of the obvious ways is through sponsoring children. Children are the future of our world. Mothers and Fathers are most often reached with the Gospel through their children. Sponsoring children can be through organizations like Compassion, World Vision, or many others. It could be deciding to take in foster children. There are so many ways to reach out to the children.

There is also helping with basic necessities. I know in Haiti one of the major necessities is being to have access to clean, healthy drinking water.

So maybe we need to rethink our "need" for that cable/satelite package that gives us more channels then we will ever watch. We could perhaps change a child's life for eternity.

Maybe those expensive lattes we get every day could instead be used to change the life of a person.

 Or that huge data package for our cell phones that we never use up each month.

Or perhaps we could choose to go meatless one meal a week and eat rice and beans and think and pray for our brothers and sisters in other countries who are struggling to put food on the table.

Maybe it would be praying for the nations around the world, using resources like Operation World. All I know is that we are not to be inactive, not doing anything. Even if we aren't called to be missionaries in foreign lands, there is plenty we can do in other ways, right here, right now.

Compassion Haiti 2014 Day 3

Here we are! The day we had been waiting for. We were going to meet Andy! I felt excited and nervous all at once! What if he didn't like us? What if he was disappointed? What if we didn't have a connection?

Yvonne called our name and we got up to go meet Andy. He came with his older sister, and a staff member from his project. Andy had to travel 3 1/2 hours to Port au Prince, and then spent the night there and then made the 1 1/2 hour trip to us. This was his first time spending the night away from home.

When we saw him he went to hug me and I could have started crying right there. He was smiling and was so happy to be there. We were off to a good start!

 He loved swimming in the pool. There are a lot of children in Haiti who haven't ever seen the ocean or have gone swimming in a pool before. We spent most of the morning at the pool. Nate even borrowed some shorts and got into the water. For those of you who know my husband, the water isn't his most favorite thing. He doesn't know how to swim. But this precious little boy was worth it.

This was our translator, Frankie.

 During lunch, I asked Andy what his favorite toy was to play with. He told us that he doesn't have any toys. That took us so off guard. I should have realized that because the two homes that we visited had no toys in them. But still…no toys? The thought seemed so foreign, especially coming from America where we have an overabundance of toys and entertainment in general.

So Nate then asked Andy what toys he would like to have. Andy replied that he would like cars, trucks, and machines. I had gone shopping for him about a month earlier. I wish I could say I had prayed about what to get him, but honestly, I had just gone down the aisles and picked out what I thought an 8 year old boy would like to play with.

Nate went upstairs and came down with Andy's bag. I found him a CARS book bag at Target. It was the only one left. He unzipped it slowly and started pulling things out.

Love their faces!

He pulled out a Jesus Storybook, written in Creole. He had a tablet and new crayons. He pulled out an Arizona Cardinals T-shirt. And then he pulled out 5 matchbox cars and a lego set that made three different kinds of heavy machinery. I felt so humbled at the kindness of Jesus, that he would allow us to be the catalyst to answer this dear boy's wish. That was an amazing moment.

All smiles!

 Our time was coming to a close, so we asked Andy to draw us a picture of his home. After he drew a picture of his home, we took turns drawing a picture of ours.

Here is a picture of our whole team with our sponsored children

Just before saying goodbye

We then prayed for Andy and his family and then it was time to take a big group photo and then say goodbye. The day was already over! Saying goodbye to that little boy was one of the hardest things I have ever done. It was so hard to let him go. We knew what he was going home to. The unfairness of it all seemed to hit us. Why him? Why does he go home to no clean water, electricity, no bathroom? Where supplying the basics takes up most of the day? And then, why us? Why do we get to live in a nice home, with clean water at five different spigots, a dishwasher, refrigerator, and three bathrooms?

And as we watched him get in the van and drive away…it hit me. God designed it this way on purpose. He not only blesses us with what we have, but He also allows us, desires us, to be His Hands and Feet. To take what we have and share it with those around us. Its our responsibility.

Yes, we could take Andy home with us and his physical surroundings would be improved, but that still doesn't help the problem. But Compassion does. Compassion equips these children with the tools they need to rise up above their circumstances and to make a difference in their country. They have a pride in their country and a strong desire to see Haiti become a better place. By sponsoring a child in Haiti, you are helping equip the next generation of leaders in that country. And not just leaders, but Believers. That is amazing.

Compassion Haiti 2014 Day 2

Our second full day in Haiti we traveled only about 40 minutes away from our hotel to visit another project. This time we were focused on the Child Development Program (CDP). This program focuses on children ages 3 up through high school. The children did a presentation for us. They sang songs, some sang solos, and a girl even played the trumpet. We also introduced ourselves and told where we were from. We then led the children in a rousing rendition of "Hallelu Hallelu Hallelu Hallelujah!" Oh, that was pretty fun. The kids got a kick out of that. There was lots of cheering going on! :)

After that, our team broke into four small groups. Each of us did a different activity and the children could pick where they wanted to go. One group played out on the "field", which was a dirt, concrete, stone field. Another did crafts, the third did face painting and fingernail painting. The group I was in jumped rope. What fun that was! I can't remember the last time I jumped rope. And the kids were awesome at jumping rope. Some could jump double dutch, some could jump with partners and jump around each other while jumping rope. I was happy I could jump in! :)

After playing a few hours, we then had lunch with the staff and learned about what each one's job is at the project. We also got to see where they are constructing new school buildings, built to code and strong enough to withstand strong earthquakes.

Me and Sara. Everyone on our team was just so awesome.

Roof of the new school rooms

Safety blinds

We then went on another home visit after lunch. It was a quick walk across the street and then down a turkey path to a bunch of houses scattered here and there. We went with our translator and one of the staff members from the project. The home we went to was a four room house, with one of the rooms being rented out to someone else. It had a concrete floor, concrete walls and a tin roof. There was no kitchen in the house. It was outside under a roof with tarps around it for walls. Inside there was no electricity, running water or bathrooms. There is typically a community "bathroom" which can range from a hole in the ground to an outhouse. 

In the home was the grandmother, the matriarch of the home. She had her daughter living with her who had three children. The daughter's husband left her when she was pregnant with the  baby. There was just a heaviness about the home. You could tell there had been a lot of pain and sorrow experienced there. We talked to them a little and then prayed with them. We asked the grandmother what she would like prayer for, and she answered that she would like her family to know and believe in Jesus. As we gathered around to pray, this dear woman, who looked like she was in her late 70s, and couldn't get around well, sank to her knees for us to pray for her. I have tears again just thinking about it. One of the other team members worded it so well, "It was as if she had the weight of the world on her shoulders as she knelt there for us to pray for her."

So while this home visit was hard, it was good to know that Compassion is there, partnering with the church, to love these children. To teach them about the Friend that never leaves them, even in all the uncertainty  and difficulty of life. And to give them a hope.

Saturday morning glory

The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands....

Just a little gift I woke up to this morning.....we don't have clouds too often in the sky at morning except during monsoon, and we haven't had rain for a few days, so this was beautiful this morning. I hope you have a wonderful Saturday.....I will be husking and cutting corn! 

"I see your face in every sunrise; the colors of the morning are in your eyes... You're beautiful..." Phil Wickham

Project Restoration Reveal Part 1

I realized the other day that we have been living in our house for almost five months now and I never showed any "finished" pictures. So here are a few of the living room, dining room, and kitchen....

dining room before

dining room after

living room/kitchen before

kitchen before

farmhouse sink...sigh...I love this thing. Perfect for washing babies in.

living room after

living room after (sign is made by my sister)

living room/hall after

So this is part of the redo. I will try to upload pictures of the kids bedrooms sometime in the next five months! (smile). And I do have a picture frame for Anne....I just haven't found it yet! :)

Someone also turned ONE over the weekend....one. My baby is growing up!!! And I think she kinda likes lemon cupcakes! :)

our sunshiny lemony girl!

She is growing so fast and it seems hard to believe that the patter of little hands and knees on the floor, and the pinching of my arm while she's nursing are coming to an end. Time is just slipping by and all I can do is slow down and try to take it in....

a few things I am thankful for....the gifts that never end....

* watching the sunset as a family

*kids pointing out the stars as they pop out in the night sky

*going around and naming what we are thankful for

*warm sundried clothes

*napping children

*keeping up with the laundry

*girls going running with their mom (grin)

*lemon cupcakes

*Turkey Hill Raspberry Tea & Peach Tea (yes! even in Arizona)

*ballet recital

*baler in the morning

*roses in ironstone pitcher

*kiss goodnight

*catching up on office work

....and the list goes on......