Monday, March 31, 2008

Mondays

Mondays are hardly ever great days in our household. The girls are coming off of Sunday, which is a very long day for us. We travel an hour to get to church, and then we eat lunch out because it is so far, and then it's an hour home. So the girls rarely get a decent afternoon nap, they go to bed early, and for some reason, they don't sleep in, but get up early on Monday. So there is usually lots of cranky, tired, squabbling children in the house....and one very frustrated, impatient mommy!
This morning, for instance, I heard the older two in their room talking before 6:30 this morning, and I immediately knew today was probably not going to be a good day. I was hanging out wash when my eldest pointed out to me that Alaina had pulled some flowers out of one of my pots. Not just the flower, but the whole plant. Now Alaina and I have been having frequent lessons in not pulling my flowers out, and this one just took the cake. So, I became angry, told her (not so calmly and definitely not in an inside voice) to leave my flowers alone, and then I disciplined her. She cried for a little while and then got over it and moved on to the next thing. And here I sit, almost an hour later and I am still stewing over the same thing.
I find this true a lot of times. My children misbehave, we deal with it, they move on, and I am still upset. And then I get even more upset with myself because I am holding a grudge against a toddler!
I am so thankful that children are resilient and forget the days of their younger years where their parents make plenty of mistakes. I would never want my girls to remember the day that their mom was upset with them for a whole morning because they pulled my flowers out. I mean, really, in the big picture, what do the flowers really matter? Not a whole lot.
I am just so thankful that God doesn't treat me that way. He never holds a grudge against me when I screw up, which is pretty often. And now that I have a blog to journal on, it is really humbling to see how much growing I have to do.
I know I need to just pray for the mercy, unconditonal love and discernment to know how to take care of a situation. Oftentimes I react in the moment and later regret how I handled it. Hindsight is 20/20. I am just so thankful that my girls have unconditional love for me and forget things so quickly. I think I need a little more toddler in me!!

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Super Daddy

My girls got a superman figurine from a happy meal a few months ago, and they asked me who he was. I told them his name is Superman. A few weeks ago, they were playing with him and I heard them calling Superman, Daddy. I thought, how cute! They think Superman is their daddy. And then I realized, every little girl needs to think of their daddy as Superman. Someone who will protect them, love them, sacrifice for them, and cherish them. Growing up, I always had a pretty good relationship with my father, and now being a mother, I wish for my girls to have a close relationship with their own father. I firmly believe that a close relationship with their father will help them with their relationship with their Heavenly Father, and also with any male relationships they have in the far, far, far future. (Do I have enough fars in there?) I am in no hurry to get to that point!
But I do want our girls to grow up feeling special and loved by their father, so that they don't go seeking that from any other source. And by being secure in their relationship with their father, I think it will be easier for them to understand God as their Heavenly Father.
I think father/daughter relationships can be so special, and I hope that I will encourage that as our daughters grow up. We don't have any boys in this family yet, and maybe someday we will, and I will get to learn about the special bond between mother and son, but for now, the girls rule! And I don't ever want them to look at their father as anything less then Superman. An earthly example of the heavenly Superman that is their father and loves them passionately.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Laundry airing

I finally decided to start my own blog. I've thought about it for a while, but after talking to my mom today, I thought I would try it. She said it might encourage other young mothers with children, make some people smile, or I might get some really fantastic parenting advice. So, here it goes.
I have three young children. Their names and ages are as follows: Larissa, 3 (almost four, end of April), Alaina, 2 1/2, and Charlotte who will be one the beginning of April. Yes, three girls, and they are 17 months apart. I am sure there are some who think I am crazy, and others who know what it's like, or may even have their children closer. Those who have their children even closer, I applaud you. I feel like somdays I am in a neverending phase of teething, changing diapers, potty training, and discipline.
So, today has not been the best day in the world. My girls, mainly the two older ones, have been fighting like cats and dogs today. Toys, food, clothes, shoes, you name it, they have probably had a scrap about it.
My dad called me this morning, and Larissa and Alaina were fighting, so I sent them outside. Finally, peace and quiet!!! Although, usually when it's quiet, that means there is trouble. I finished the conversation with my dad, grabbed my laundry basket and went outside to take clean laundry off the line. I walk outside, and find my clean laundry is now lying on the back porch, covered in dirt. My two little "helpers" had taken the liberty of pulling the clean laundry off the line and dragging it through the dirt and throwing it in a pile on the porch. My blood pressure sky-rocketed, and I could feel the anger just rising up in me. I called them to the door and calmly (I really tried to be calm) explained that I wash their clothes so they have clean things to wear, and when they take them off the line and drag them through dirt, it only creates more work for their mommy. I disciplined them and am hoping that will be the last time we have to discuss laundry pulling.
Looking back on it later, I did find it slightly humorous, not totally funny, though. And I relayed the event to my sister. She emailed me back and told me that perhaps there is a hidden message in it for me to think about. So this afternoon when my three girls were napping I sat down and thought about that remark. I find a lot of times, the frustration I deal with in raising my kids with their physical actions, usually has spiritual implications for me. Like the laundry deal, I felt God say to me this afternoon, you know Laura, there are many times I pull you out of a messy situation or a pit, clean you off, and you pull away and go and mess up again.
Wow, conviction fell. I know God certainly doesn't fly off the handle at me when I screw up, every day, a hundred different ways. It only shows me how much more I have to learn about grace, mercy, and unconditional love. And I know I have a long way to go.