Wednesday, May 18, 2011


We sang this song in church this past Sunday. We have sung it before, but this past Sunday was one of those moments where we (the church) was singing in unity. And it was amazing. Like where you feel like you are just going to jump out of your skin. Especially when we sang the last verse, "arriving on eternity's shore, where death is just a memory and tears are no more." I just wanted to share it here.....

Friday, May 13, 2011


I find as a mother and a wife, I go through seasons. Right now, I feel like I am in the desert. Actually, I am in the desert. Literally. But that's neither here nor there. I mean an emotional and spiritual desert. My days feel long and unending. I imagine most moms of "littles" feel that way at one time or another. My son is up at daybreak, and I do get in an early morning feeding, just me and him, I get to read my daily bible reading for the day (I am reading the bible in a year. First time I ever did that.), and I usually get my first cup of coffee before the rest are up. Most times than not, I don't get to finish my coffee, but you can bet that someone finishes it for me. And it's not an adult. Anyway.....then I feel like the rest of my day is feeding kids, changing kids, cleaning, cooking, teaching, laundry, cleaning, refereeing, wiping, and so on. I start to get tired. I start to get irritated. I start to feel frustrated. Even angry sometimes. I wonder when I will ever get time to myself. Poor, pitiful me. But I forget to go back to the One who can replenish my soul. Who is my Reservoir. It's hard to remember that as we give and pour out, so we also need to go back and get refilled. Refreshed. If we don't take those times we can become angry, depressed, among a multitude of other emotions. I find that I need to broaden my idea of refreshing. It could be an uninterrupted hour, but it might also only be 10 minutes. Learning to be content in all things is very hard. At least for me. I feel like my brain doesn't ever slow down. And in this age of technology and where multitasking is looked upon as productive, it's hard to feel all right about stopping. Breathing. Being still.  I find I will sit at the computer, with the television on, trying to do both. I will read a magazine and watch television. I find it's getting hard for me to just focus on one thing. Makes it difficult to focus on One Person. Know what I mean?  God is dealing with me.
My youngest sister is in YWAM, and right now is in Kosovo. She sent me an email earlier this week, and here is what part of it said, "experience the seasons.... seasons of when Nate is busy, when school is in session, etc - but i want to encourage you that there are also seasons with the Lord. despite busyness and schedules he is near!" As I read that, the tears fell. Sometimes God leads us into the desert to call us to Him.

"Therefore I am now going to allure; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her." Hosea 2:14

Friday, May 6, 2011


This Sunday is Mother's Day. Out of curiosity, I looked up Mother in my 1828 Noah Webster dictionary. I figured there would be some good definitions of the word, and I was not disappointed. One of my favorite's is this: "madre, mother, cause, origin, root, spring, a mold or form for castings..." The terminology mold or form for castings caught my eye. I never really thought of myself as a mold for my children, but there is alot of truth in that. I am helping to mold my children for their future, molding their habits, their beliefs, their faith. Kind of convicting, isn't?
I must confess that I didn't appreciate all that my mother has done for me until I became one. The sacrificing, putting aside your own wants, the exhaustion, the doubting, and on and on it goes. But my mom has been there alongside of me on this journey called motherhood, offering her advice, encouragement and support. Which some days, I just need to hook up to an IV...a continuous flow, you know what I mean?
Living so far away from my mom has few advantages, but one advantage is that when I have a baby, my mom comes and LIVES with me. For ten days. Give or take how late my babies decide to come. Now, if I lived in Pennsylvania, she would stop by the house, but since she has to fly to Arizona, I get in house help for at least ten blissful days.  There are no words to describe how much I appreciate that. Thank you Mom!!!

                                           my mom with Landon shortly after he was born

    Another definition is "an appellation given to a woman who exercises care and tenderness towards another, or gives parental advice; as when one says, "a woman has been a mother to me." During different seasons of my life, the Lord has put women in my life who fit this description. During high school, my best friend's mother, Linda, was like a second mom to me. I was constantly in and out of her house, visiting, eating her food, and staying up all hours of the night watching movies and talking. She and I continued to meet for lunch after Renee moved out to California and got married.  It will be six years this October since she went home to Jesus.  There was Marianne. I spent lots of time at her house and even worked for her for a while. I fondly remember sitting at her kitchen table talking.
When I went off to college, there was Betty Ann. She always made time for me, and some of the best memories I have of her are sitting at her counter, coffee in hand, just chatting away. And now I have my mother in law, Cecelia. She is one of the most generous, kind and loving people I know. I love how God has His ways of taking care of me, no matter where I am in life.
And lastly, I just had to throw out that another definition of the word mother is, "a thick slimy substance concreted in liquors, particularly in vinegar, very different from scum or common lees." When I read that, I laughed. Out loud.
And so, I just wanted to wish all the mothers out there, whether you are raising little ones, expecting your first one, empty nester, or perhaps raising "spiritual" children,
                      Happy Mother's Day!