Monday, September 1, 2008


I just got the new Hillsong CD, This is our God. It's pretty good. There is a song on there, Healer, that has a special story to it. The guy who wrote it had been told a couple years ago that he had cancer. He went home and wrote that song. The Lord healed him. The song sat for a couple years and they put it on their new CD. The words are this:

You hold my every moment/you calm my raging seas/you walk with me through fire and heal all my disease/I trust in you/I trust in you
I believe you're my healer/I believe you are all I need/I believe you're my portion/I believe you're more than enough for me/Jesus you're all I need
Nothing is impossible for you/nothing is impossible/nothing is impossible for you/you hold my world in your hands

You can watch the video on youtube. I think you just type in the word healer. But the next song on the CD I love. It's called You are Here. And the words are this:

The same power that conquered the grave/lives in me/lives in me
Your love that rescued the earth/lives in me/lives in me

I was talking to my husband on the way home from church yesterday about how I get so frustrated throughout a day. I have my idea of what I want to accomplish in a day and when it doesn't go the way I want it to, I get very frustrated and even angry. But how often do I ask for the Lord's help throughout the day? Sometimes I believe I have more frustrating days than not, because the Lord is trying to draw me to Him. To rely on him solely to get through a day. Think about that, the same power the raised Christ from the dead, lives in me. It lives in all of us if we've surrendered our lives to Him. How awesome and amazing is that? But it's the remembering, the dying to ourselves, realizing we can't do it on our own. That is hard.
We are seriously considering homeschooling our children. I struggle daily with wondering if I can do it. Do I have enough patience? Will I be a good teacher? Will they be able to learn from me? What about my own personal time? I realized I can be very selfish. And I am learning more everyday that it isn't about whether I can do it, but will I let God accomplish His will and desire through me?
Being a parent is really hard because we constantly have to sacrifice what we want to be doing for what we need to be doing. Spending time with our children, directing them and making sure their hearts are right. That is tough work. But how much harder is it when I refuse to bend the knee, and ask the Lord for his help, his power, his resurrection power. What more could I want? What more could I need?