Oh, this has been a week!!! I don't even know where to begin. Life has just been feeling crazy for the last several weeks. And I notice when I start to feel overwhelmed, I begin to play the "if only" game. Like, "If only we were moved into our new house, I wouldn't have to walk out and turn the switch for the water to come back on..." "If only we were moved into our house, I would be more organized and the house would be cleaner, because obviously it's much easier to keep a "new" house cleaner then a not so new one.."..."If only the hay buyer would pay us from two months back, I would be able to get caught up on bills, and not be biting my fingers down to nothing!!!" You get the gist.....discontentment wells up big time in my heart and I take it out on my kids, my man, and my fingers!!! But God is showing me that until I learn to be content in my circumstances now, I won't ever be content in my circumstances later, when the trial has passed. Look for the gifts in the midst of the storm. God is continually blessing, always blessing, even when I am NOT blessing or deserve the blessing.
I could tell my frustration has reached the boiling point because I am getting mad at my children over things they can't control. And then I explode and then have to apologize later because I have been preaching to my kids they don't need to yell to express themselves, and then here is mom doing the exact thing she told them not to do. You may be surprised to know this sad little truth about me....but I am a YELLER! And I hate that about myself. It's something I am really trying to get a handle on, but it just bubbles out, more like a tidal wave, and I find myself raising my voice. Parenting is one of the most humbling jobs EVER!!! I think my job is to mold and shape my childrens' character and more often then not, they are molding and shaping mine. Bringing to the surface all kinds of junk I don't want to deal with. I am just preaching to myself.
Since this is November, I thought I would name some of things I am thankful for....the little gifts throughout the day I have been finding. I am still keeping my list. I just haven't been blogging about it. I reached 1000 a couple of months ago. It felt like a big milestone! :) So, just to remind myself to breathe and slow down.....
pjs in the afternoon
boy going potty!!!!
butterflies breaking out of cocoons
last field of hay for the season
corn harvest over
activities slowing down
inching closer to moving day (Praise Him!)
encouraging talk with sister
making Christmas plans
carpet being installed
washer and dryer delivered (no more duct tape)
kids all bathed
quick forgiveness from my middle child
hard lessons on patience & self control (grin)
baby girl sitting up ( all ready!!!!)
learning contentment (please let it be a short lesson!)
school on the blanket
I cannot believe Thanksgiving is.next.week. Where is the year going? My baby girl will be SIX months old in two days!!! Trying to remember to be thankful and content.......