grace

Grace. What a powerful word. I love having grace extended toward me. To be the recipient of grace. Now to be the giver of grace....not so much. That doesn't always feel good. I don't always feel like it...my heart isn't in it, so why should I fake it?
This morning my darling girls decided it would be fun to wake up at 3 am. My girls. Not my boy, who at 18 months, I would have freely forgiven. Perhaps he was feeling pain from teething, maybe a bad dream, or maybe even a diaper that needed changing. No, my girls just thought it would be fun to have a party at 3 am.
Unfortunately, their father and I didn't get the memo about the party and we weren't very happy about it. I went over twice and could still hear them whispering and talking. They finally quieted down and then about half an hour later all three emerge to use the bathroom. Together. Yes, they start young. What is that about? To say my husband was irritated would be an understatement. He went over to the bathroom, opened the door, and gave the girls quite a fright! They were just getting ready to go back to their room, so opening the door and finding their irate father, wasn't something they were expecting. They go back to their room and proceed to keep talking!!!!! Nate had just laid back down and he jumped up and went over and let them have the "what for". He came back to bed and I just said that perhaps this is just preparing me for a nursing baby. Needless to say, it was almost 4:30 before the house was quiet and we fell back to sleep.
Waking up this morning, I just felt mad. I felt mad reading my daily Bible reading. I felt irritated as I read my blogs on google reader. I felt upset as I drank my morning coffee. I felt a headache coming on as the kids emerged from their rooms. And the crazy thing is, they came out already dressed, beds made, and pleasant. But this mama wasn't feeling very pleasant. I wasn't feeling very graceful. I just wanted to be angry for a while. I felt justified in my anger. I wanted to sit in it for a while. Why? I mean, seriously, who wants to stay there?
To make myself feel better I called my mom and told her what happened, wanting her pity, and then I confessed that I just wanted to stay mad about it. She laughed. It is really kind of funny when you think about it. I wanted to wallow in my self pity and self righteous attitude, because I felt I deserved to be angry.
All I can say, is THANK YOU JESUS He doesn't do that to me. I can be so selfish and immature, even in my thirties. Sometimes I feel it can get harder....this dying to yourself.  The only example our children have of God's grace is the grace extended to them from the adults in their lives. That is what they will associate God's grace with. What a responsibility. What a choice we have to make. Every day. Sometimes every moment. And I fail. A lot. But I am so thankful for Grace. And so, God has been laying on my heart the double standard I hold in mine. I want God's grace for when I screw up, but when my children make mistakes, whether childish innocence or intentional, I want them to know how it offended me for the rest of the day. I want to hang it over their heads.
Our transgressions are as far as the east is from the west. They are in the bottom of the ocean.  Please remove the plank from my eye...help me to be Your hands and feet. To show Your grace. Grace that makes us white as snow. 

Windows and Doors

Guess what? We FINALLY closed last Wednesday. So now begins the remodel on the house. Of course this will be done slowly, as we have the money, but tomorrow morning, my hubby will be ordering the windows and french door for the house. I am so excited! It will be about 21-24 days until they are finished and then they will need to be installed. We already have our block to build the addition, so hopefully once we get our hay shed built and finished planting, we can go to work on that. It's amazing to watch transformation. And it's not just limited to houses or things. People can be transformed as well. I am excited to document the changes in the house, as well as some personal lessons we learn along the way.  Pinterest has been my friend lately. It's a great place to save those pictures of inspiration found on the web. It's a great time waster as well. I am trying to be more diligent and watch the time I spend online.
Just wanted to fill you in on the house! Have a great week!

the house

For anyone wondering, what is going on with that remodel project....well let me tell you! We ran into some glitches with the irrigation wells, and therefore, all our money has been going into fixing that right now. Farming is our bread and butter and here in the desert, we need water! So that is our first priority. We are ready to order windows and exterior doors, and will hopefully do that soon. We also have the block to build the addition onto the house, it's just finding the time! Plus, the domestic well needs some attention as well, and so right now, there is no water at the house! Which isn't too handy for a pregnant lady, if you know what I mean!! :)

We have most of the popcorn ceiling scraped off, and it's a white powdery mess on the floor! We originally had hoped to be in the house before baby was born. The due date is May 16th, right smack dab in the middle of hay and oats. By the end of April my man will be so busy that the house will have to take a back seat. So at this point, it is looking like we won't be in before baby. However, I am still holding onto some hope that the impossible can happen! We have seen God step in and help us out in some pretty amazing ways lately, and so we are just trusting in Him.

Here's to hoping and praying that I have some improvement pictures to show in the coming weeks!!

Spring is coming.....

Winter time out here can kind of be a drag. We don't get snow to cover the ground, so all we see for the majority of winter is brown, brown, brown. And it gets windy about February and can sometimes last till Spring. But I know spring is coming. It's already been decided. Reading verses in the Bible about the desert mean more to me now because I actually live in the desert....in a dry and thirsty land. But, come about January, you see tiny changes, fields greening up, which means spring is coming.

 I love that verse about the darkest hour is just before the dawn. I think about that sometimes when I am watching the sun come up. It's the darkest just before the light starts piercing the darkness. Just before the miracle. Just before God acts.

 Here are our patches of green in the desert. It's amazing that even in the desert in winter time, there is life. The fields are starting to green up. There is hope!

Just thought I would send some encouragement to whoever might need it. Spring is coming. If you feel you are in your darkest hour, and all hope is gone, the Son is just about to rise!