JOY

I know it's been a while since I have last written. It feels as though a lot has happened. Not really, but we did go to Pennsylvania for two and a half weeks, and that meant me flying with my three little girls by myself. That was quite a feat, and I am happy to say that we all survived and the girls actually did quite well. Kids can and will surprise you. I wasn't sure how Charlotte would do being held the entire time. She is quite the active 18 month old. Other than kicking her sister in the head a couple of times and pulling hair, she did just fine. Larissa loves to travel and I never heard much out of her the whole time. She just sits there and plays with her dolls and looks at her books. Alaina, too, did pretty good. She only had meltdowns once we landed, which is better than on the plane. The only major problem we had was when we landed in Philly. We were in the very last row and so the very last ones off of the plane. Alaina started crying as soon as the plane stopped. So of course she was crying the whole time everyone was getting off the plane. When we finally had our turn to get off, I was setting up the stroller to put Charlotte in when I heard screaming. I turn around and here Alaina has managed to get her foot stuck between the little space between the plane and the tarmack. Yes, only my child would do that. In case you don't know Alaina, she has "accident waiting to happen" stamped on her forehead. So I quickly go over and unstick her foot. She immediately starts hopping around like she twisted her ankle, so I get her in the stroller and push it with one hand and hold Charlotte in the other. Now, Charlotte weighs over 20 pounds and I walked as far as I could, but my right arm was shaking so bad, and I am a lefty, so I knew I couldn't push the stroller with just my right arm, so I stopped my little caravan and told Alaina she would have to get out of the stroller. She did, and then proceeded to tag along about ten feet behind me and cry the whole way down to baggage claim. People were stopping and watching and trying to hide their laughing. I FINALLY made it down to baggage claim only to find out I was at the wrong one!!!! I had to walk outside the building to the US Airways baggage claim. By that time, my parents thought they were early and went upstairs to see if they could see us coming down, so when I got to the correct baggage claim, they weren't there. Thank goodness for cell phones! I texted my mom and they came down pronto and I was so happy to unload the kids onto their very adoring grandparents!!! All in all we had a great trip and the plane ride home was pretty much uneventful! PTL!
And as I've been home now for almost two weeks, I was thinking the other day about joy. I realized I don't have a lot of it during the week. I pretty much get frustrated and angry very quickly. And for those of you who know me, I am typically laid back, but not when it comes to my children. And then I started thinking about what they must think about me. That I am really not that much fun and I don't enjoy being silly and playing with them. Which, honestly, doesn't happen nearly enough. I realized I am not the same adventurous, almost silly girl I used to be. When I was a teenager.....well till I was married, I used to sing into hairbrushes with my sisters when a really cool song came on the radio. Do I do that with my own kids? Uh, not too often. I used to be more spontaneous and fun. Now I am all about making sure my house is clean, the laundry is done and the bills are paid. Not that those things aren't important, but you still need to make room for the unexpected. And then I thought, is this because....gulp.....I am getting older? I mean, I am going to be hitting the big 30 next year. Yuck! I don't even want to think about it. But no, that can't be it, because I have family.....namely my dad and a very funny uncle who still act like they are teenage boys. I love that about them.
So I have decided that I need to let loose a little more often, so my kids will enjoy spending time with me. Not that I am trying to be their friend, I need to be their mother right now, but as they get older, I want them to feel like they can share things with me and that we can have a close relationship outside of "put your toys away. brush your teeth. eat with your mouth closed."
I need to be able to just live. Enjoy life and seek out those special moments that you can just feel God blessing you and smiling down upon you, even if there is mud on the kitchen floor and the laundry is piling up and I missed putting fabric softener in the rinse cycle (I hate when that happens!). I'll let you know how it turns out.