Relationship

I just finished reading, "The Shack", by William Young. I can't really put into words what I feel about it. I need to read it again. One thing I did learn is that the Trinity goes hand in hand. They work together and all need to be active in my life. I find at times....most times, I quench the Holy Spirit because I am afraid. Mostly I am afraid of how the Holy Spirit will manifest Itself in my life. I won't be in control. I really am a control freak!!! I think most of us are probably are. And I felt released from this pressure I put on myself about if I don't read my Bible or pray, God's mad at me or will punish me. Yes, God wants me to read His Word, my life instruction manual, but more importantly, He wants relationship. He wants to be involved in all I am, do, think, or speak. He wants my life to be a prayer...to be in constant communion with Him. How awesome and amazing is that? He is all about relationship. Its so hard to get my mind to wrap around that. I think I've spent sufficient time with the Lord if I read/study my Bible for 30-45 minutes. But God wants to live my whole day with me. How do I do this? It's just mind boggling. I always knew God was about relationship, I mean, He sent His only Son to earth to make a way for relationship with us. But I guess I never really personalized it before. And that is what The Shack did for me. It brought to life how intricately involved God is in every aspect of my life. The peaceful times, the pleasant times, and yes, even the painful times.