About four and a half weeks ago, we were down at my in-laws, spending the day together. We had just gotten home a week or two before from our trip to Pennsylvania, and the kids wanted to spend some time with Grandpa and Grandma. Towards evening, the guys came in from work to eat supper. They had been welding all day. Nate sat down to eat some pizza. After he finished eating, he suddenly got a headache and started feeling really bad. In fact, so bad that I had to drive him home. He had to walk real slow and felt very dizzy. My sister drove my vehicle home. We get home, and Nate goes back to take a shower. He ends up getting very sick. He threw up a few times and just kept saying how the room was spinning. This lasted for a few days. I had a suspicion he had vertigo and looked it up and sure enough, all his symptoms matched. He called and got an appointment with the doctor.
We went into the doctor and got a prescription which was to help with the dizziness. Over the weekend, Nate slowly started to feel better. He was in the house a whole week before he felt well enough to venture outside and check any fields. The world had stopped spinning, but he still couldn't turn his head quickly from side to side. For any of you who know my husband, it was very hard for him to be down that long. There is ground to be worked and barley to be planted, so he was chomping at the bit to get back to work.
Life went on for another two weeks or so. One a week ago, Tuesday, he was down at the shop, talking to our fertilizer rep when his vision went spotty. This last for about an hour. For fifteen minutes of this hour, he also had difficulty speaking. In his mind, he knew exactly what he wanted to say, but when he would try to verbalize it, something different would come out. This, of course, greatly concerned us, so he called the doctor again, and the doctor told Nate that he was going to request an MRI to be done.
At the thought of having an MRI done, my thoughts when to all kinds of places. The doctor had told Nate that he would be looking for lesions or aneurysms. When I heard the "A" word, I felt very worried. They kill people suddenly, without warning. When we went to bed that night, I asked Nate if he was worried, and he said no. Then he asked me if I was worried and I said yes.
I think it's human nature to have your mind go over all the possibilities. Especially the potential of raising your four young children alone. And I must confess, I have a VERY overactive imagination to begin with. So, on my drive over to Sierra Vista on Wednesday to pick up the request for the MRI, I had it out with myself.
One thing I have learned is that we have to take every thought captive. By allowing my thoughts to run wild, I was giving in to fear. But God has said that He hasn't given us a spirit of fear. I needed to say out loud, "No matter what happens, I WILL TRUST YOU." And I said it out loud. A lot.
I picked up the paperwork and ran over to the clinic to schedule Nate's MRI for Friday. That was last Friday, at 3:30. He and I, and Landon went for the appointment. It lasted about 45 minutes. Because it was so late in the day, the doctor said the results probably wouldn't be faxed over to our doctor until Monday morning.
The body of Christ is an amazing thing. We had so many people praying for us. It was awesome. In our Sunday morning service, we had a special time of prayer and some of the elders and deacons prayed for Nate. And a sweet lady, who has had her own share of trials and tribulations health wise, came over to pray with me. While she prayed for me, the one thing I heard her say a few times was, "Oh that we would be careful to praise you." Yes, we need to praise God when times are good, when they are falling apart, even when we don't know the next step. We must always have an attitude of praise and thankfulness.
Monday went by and by 4:30 that afternoon we still hadn't heard anything. Nate and I had figured that if we didn't hear anything first thing, there must not be anything too serious going on. So I called the office late that afternoon and talked to a nurse. She said Nate's MRI came back normal. I felt an immediate sense of relief. She said that what Nate has is called vestibular migraines. We needed to schedule a follow up appointment to discuss what that is and what can be done about it.
So, that is where we are. I feel incredibly humbled and blessed by God's faithfulness and love. I felt His love so much through our friends and family, and their prayers, emails, texts and phone calls. I know there are many who hope for a good report and, instead, are given a much different one. But that doesn't mean that God isn't faithful or loving. He supplies us for each day, whatever comes our way. He will never leave or forsake us. His mercies are new every morning. And He will give us the strength to make it through.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
I love this girl
She spends a lot of time washing my dishes. If you've read any earlier posts, you will know that I don't have a dishwasher. Yet. But I am on a mission to run for one. Which, by the way, I accomplished my goal last Saturday. Problem is, I haven't been running since! I am going to try and remedy that tomorrow.
Anyway, she washes lots of dishes. And vacuums, and plays never ending games of Uno and Memory. And helps rebellious nieces learn letters, write letters, and learn to read. And is company to a mom who some days feels like she is going to lose her mind!
I know when she reads this post she is going to feel embarrassed, (because she's humble like that. In everything. Even the amazing pictures she takes, which, by the way, you can see here) but I just had to publicly state how much I appreciate her giving nature, and the fact that she was willing to give up a couple months of her time, to help a sister out. I.Love.Her.
And, in case my baby sister is feeling left out, I love her too. She's in Hawaii right now, learning all kinds of new and exciting things, preparing for a missions trip to Kosovo and Pakistan. (I always want to say Afghanistan, and then people look at me like I am crazy, and I realize I said the wrong country. But they are neighbors. And Afghanistan needs Jesus just as much as Pakistan. But it's Pakistan). And just in the way off chance my brother is reading this post, I love him too. There. That's a lot of sibling love going on.
I will close this rambling post now. Goodbye.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
The Source of Love
Week Three of the bible study I am doing was on the Source of Love. The first question dealt with God's love and how we can receive it. One thing that stuck out to me was the Scripture in I John 4:7-16. In those verses it states that Love is not that WE love God, but that HE loves us, and that because HE loved us, HE sent His Son to die for us. Pretty humbling, isn't it?
Another question asked how God empowers us in learning how to love. A scripture in Philippians 2:13 says that God will put the desire to love in our hearts for us to act on. And in I Thessalonians 3: 12-13 it says that God will make our love increase and overflow to and for others. He will strengthen our hearts. That is such a comforting thought, because sometimes people are hard to love. Especially when you are on the receiving end of hurt time and time again.
The fifth question dealt with studying Scriptures that tell us how we are to grow in love. In John 14: 21-24, it says that if we obey God, we love God. But if we disobey God, we don't love Him. That felt very convicting to me. I might be quick to require instant obedience from my children, but I am not always quick to obey my Heavenly Father when He asks me to take time out of my schedule to do something for Him. And by being slow to respond, I am being disobedient, and in essence, saying I don't love God. Ouch!
I John 5: 1-3 also talks about how God's commands aren't burdensome. That really struck me. His commands are not burdensome. So when I start to feel overwhelmed and weighed down, it isn't the Lord. It's me, trying to act in my own strength. I am so thankful that God's yoke is easy and His burden is light.
Our memory work for week three was: I John 4: 9-11
"This is how God showed His love among us; He sent His One and only Son into the world that we might live through Him. This is Love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another."
I don't know about you, but I want to love well. A lot of days it's hard. Especially when you have sick ones, a teething baby, kids who are determined to stretch you day in and day out, death, money problems, marital problems, but God promises us that His commands are not burdensome. He will carry us. He will put His love in our hearts. We can only change the world by loving others with the love He has given us. Sacrificial love.
Another question asked how God empowers us in learning how to love. A scripture in Philippians 2:13 says that God will put the desire to love in our hearts for us to act on. And in I Thessalonians 3: 12-13 it says that God will make our love increase and overflow to and for others. He will strengthen our hearts. That is such a comforting thought, because sometimes people are hard to love. Especially when you are on the receiving end of hurt time and time again.
The fifth question dealt with studying Scriptures that tell us how we are to grow in love. In John 14: 21-24, it says that if we obey God, we love God. But if we disobey God, we don't love Him. That felt very convicting to me. I might be quick to require instant obedience from my children, but I am not always quick to obey my Heavenly Father when He asks me to take time out of my schedule to do something for Him. And by being slow to respond, I am being disobedient, and in essence, saying I don't love God. Ouch!
I John 5: 1-3 also talks about how God's commands aren't burdensome. That really struck me. His commands are not burdensome. So when I start to feel overwhelmed and weighed down, it isn't the Lord. It's me, trying to act in my own strength. I am so thankful that God's yoke is easy and His burden is light.
Our memory work for week three was: I John 4: 9-11
"This is how God showed His love among us; He sent His One and only Son into the world that we might live through Him. This is Love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another."
I don't know about you, but I want to love well. A lot of days it's hard. Especially when you have sick ones, a teething baby, kids who are determined to stretch you day in and day out, death, money problems, marital problems, but God promises us that His commands are not burdensome. He will carry us. He will put His love in our hearts. We can only change the world by loving others with the love He has given us. Sacrificial love.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Six Months
Somebody is turning SIX months old today!
Hard to believe six months ago today, Landon came into this world. It's hard to remember what life was like before he was here. He is growing like a weed and we just love having him!
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Homemaking Link up
I am linking up over here today....check it out for some new ideas, inspiration, or encouragement!
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
A new year....
I have been wanting to do a New Year's post, and here it is the end of January! We are already a month in! Where does the time go? But it does feel as though I have been busy. I've never been big on New Year resolutions, because somewhere between January and March, all my motivation has disappeared, but I do have a few things I want to do differently this year....
1. My pastor's wife challenged our church to read the bible through in a year. I have never done this before, so this is something I am trying to do this year. I find doing this first thing in the morning is best. But I have had to read multiple days to catch up already!
2. I have always wanted to run 5 miles without stopping. With Alyssa here, there is no reason why I can't because I can go for a run in the afternoon when the kids are down. I have added the incentive of getting a dishwasher when I've completed my goal. My husband hasn't actually agreed with this incentive, but a girl can be hopeful, right?
3. I want to be more faithful in prayer. Especially praying for family and friends in my life, and for believers around the world. It's easy to become lost in your own bubble, and forget that there are a lot of suffering believers in all parts of the world. I know this is becoming more real to me because my youngest sister is now a part of YWAM and will be headed to Kosovo and Pakistan for April, May and part of June. You can check out her adventures here, http://ashleanoelle.tumblr.com/
4. Something else I have been doing the last few years is picking out a verse from the Bible to pray over my family. Two years ago the verse was, Psalm 65: 9-13, "You care for the land and water it; you enrich it abundantly. the streams of God are filled with water to provide the people with grain, for so you have ordained it. You drench its furrows and level its ridges; you soften it with showers and bless its crops. You crown the year with your bounty, and your carts overflow with abundance. The grasslands of the desert overflow; the hills are clothed with gladness. The meadows are covered with flocks and the valleys are mantled with grain; they shout for joy and sing." I was reading through Proverbs the other day when these verses jumped out at me, Proverbs 3:9,10: "Honor the LORD with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops; then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine."
A challenging prayer, but I want to be up for the challenge.
5. I want to love my family better. Having children was a wake up call to how selfish I can be. When you suddenly have a crew of "littles" clamoring for your attention, needing a diaper to be changed, a drink, a snack, to play a game, to tattle on a sibling, you can see your sense of entitlement coming out. I know I have. And that is something I need to work on. And I also want to raise unselfish children. I have been noticing some behaviors that need to be addressed, and I am praying for the wisdom to know how to handle them!
And I also want to love my husband better. Once the kids are in bed it's so easy to turn on the TV and zone out, stay up way too late watching NOTHING and then go to bed. We could have talked about what's going on with the farm, how he's feeling about this year, about our children and character issues, about our dreams for the future. Communication is so important.
These are a few of the things I want to do better this year. Some of them the results might not be seen until years from now, but I want to start sowing the seed now and hopefully reap a harvest in the years to come!
1. My pastor's wife challenged our church to read the bible through in a year. I have never done this before, so this is something I am trying to do this year. I find doing this first thing in the morning is best. But I have had to read multiple days to catch up already!
2. I have always wanted to run 5 miles without stopping. With Alyssa here, there is no reason why I can't because I can go for a run in the afternoon when the kids are down. I have added the incentive of getting a dishwasher when I've completed my goal. My husband hasn't actually agreed with this incentive, but a girl can be hopeful, right?
3. I want to be more faithful in prayer. Especially praying for family and friends in my life, and for believers around the world. It's easy to become lost in your own bubble, and forget that there are a lot of suffering believers in all parts of the world. I know this is becoming more real to me because my youngest sister is now a part of YWAM and will be headed to Kosovo and Pakistan for April, May and part of June. You can check out her adventures here, http://ashleanoelle.tumblr.com/
4. Something else I have been doing the last few years is picking out a verse from the Bible to pray over my family. Two years ago the verse was, Psalm 65: 9-13, "You care for the land and water it; you enrich it abundantly. the streams of God are filled with water to provide the people with grain, for so you have ordained it. You drench its furrows and level its ridges; you soften it with showers and bless its crops. You crown the year with your bounty, and your carts overflow with abundance. The grasslands of the desert overflow; the hills are clothed with gladness. The meadows are covered with flocks and the valleys are mantled with grain; they shout for joy and sing." I was reading through Proverbs the other day when these verses jumped out at me, Proverbs 3:9,10: "Honor the LORD with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops; then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine."
A challenging prayer, but I want to be up for the challenge.
5. I want to love my family better. Having children was a wake up call to how selfish I can be. When you suddenly have a crew of "littles" clamoring for your attention, needing a diaper to be changed, a drink, a snack, to play a game, to tattle on a sibling, you can see your sense of entitlement coming out. I know I have. And that is something I need to work on. And I also want to raise unselfish children. I have been noticing some behaviors that need to be addressed, and I am praying for the wisdom to know how to handle them!
And I also want to love my husband better. Once the kids are in bed it's so easy to turn on the TV and zone out, stay up way too late watching NOTHING and then go to bed. We could have talked about what's going on with the farm, how he's feeling about this year, about our children and character issues, about our dreams for the future. Communication is so important.
These are a few of the things I want to do better this year. Some of them the results might not be seen until years from now, but I want to start sowing the seed now and hopefully reap a harvest in the years to come!
Saturday, January 22, 2011
The Greatest of These....
"Three things will last forever--faith, hope and love--and the greatest of these is love." I Corinthians 13:13
I am doing a bible study with a group of ladies in the town where we live. Last Wednesday was our first day. We break up into small groups and go over the questions and our answers. Our small groups range in age, which I really enjoy, I like to listen to ones older then me, who have already waded through the younger married years, have raised their children, and gone through a lot of the things I am now experiencing. I like to try and glean as much wisdom as I can from these women.
We are doing the study, "Becoming a Woman Who Loves", by Cynthia Heald. I have never done a bible study by her before, so this new for me. We are doing one chapter a week, and the work is not overwhelming, but very manageable, especially with how busy I feel with four little ones underfoot right now, and homeschooling!
I wanted to share a little of what we talked about last week. One of my favorite things from the week, was the definition of agape love. In the Greek language agape love is defined as,
"a love that is based on the deliberate choice of the one who loves rather than the worthiness of the one who is loved."
I just love that. I have known what agape love means, but for some reason, that definition jumped out at me. I don't know if it's because right now, at this stage of my life, I am being stretched and tried in this area more then ever. Being a parent, you are constantly being confronted with loving your children with an agape love. At least it feels like I am. I am to be training my children to walk with God, to know God, to love God, and to love others. Teaching them to be unselfish in a selfish, absorbed world. That alone can feel pretty much impossible. I am constantly having to redirect, reteach, and discipline. And I must always show them love, not because they have earned it, have proven worthy of it, but because I have made a deliberate choice to love them regardless of their behavior. And when I think of all the times I have messed up, spoken in anger and frustration, withheld affection or love because I was still upset, how humbling and thankful I am that God does not do that to me. This is one area in which I need to work on.
The second quote she had in this first chapter is from C. S. Lewis, and I love it,
"God, who needs nothing, loves into existence wholly superfluous creatures in order that He may love and perfect them....If I may dare the biological image, God is a "host" who deliberately creates His own parasites; causes us to be that we may exploit and "take advantage of" Him. Herein is love. This is the diagram of Love Himself, the inventor of all loves."
I am a parasite. You are a parasite. We all are parasites. Not a very attractive or appealing description, is it? But it's true. And God wants us to exploit Him. A term usually viewed in the negative. But how can you negatively exploit agape love? A perfect love? You can't.
And lastly, while completing my questions, I was using my sister's Living Bible. It's neat to read a different translation from time to time. It gives verses that may be very familiar to you, a different taste. I was reading Colossians 3:14, and to summarize it basically said that if you let love guide your life, the whole church will stay together in harmony.
Isn't that awesome? If we would let agape love, sacrificial love, guide our lives, our churches would be in harmony. The whole church. Wouldn't that be nice? Wouldn't that be like a little slice of heaven on earth?
So that is my challenge right now, to make the deliberate choice to love regardless of the response, of those around me. Challenging thoughts for today, but think of all the lives that could be affected if we would each decide to love that radically in our small piece of earth......
I am doing a bible study with a group of ladies in the town where we live. Last Wednesday was our first day. We break up into small groups and go over the questions and our answers. Our small groups range in age, which I really enjoy, I like to listen to ones older then me, who have already waded through the younger married years, have raised their children, and gone through a lot of the things I am now experiencing. I like to try and glean as much wisdom as I can from these women.
We are doing the study, "Becoming a Woman Who Loves", by Cynthia Heald. I have never done a bible study by her before, so this new for me. We are doing one chapter a week, and the work is not overwhelming, but very manageable, especially with how busy I feel with four little ones underfoot right now, and homeschooling!
I wanted to share a little of what we talked about last week. One of my favorite things from the week, was the definition of agape love. In the Greek language agape love is defined as,
"a love that is based on the deliberate choice of the one who loves rather than the worthiness of the one who is loved."
I just love that. I have known what agape love means, but for some reason, that definition jumped out at me. I don't know if it's because right now, at this stage of my life, I am being stretched and tried in this area more then ever. Being a parent, you are constantly being confronted with loving your children with an agape love. At least it feels like I am. I am to be training my children to walk with God, to know God, to love God, and to love others. Teaching them to be unselfish in a selfish, absorbed world. That alone can feel pretty much impossible. I am constantly having to redirect, reteach, and discipline. And I must always show them love, not because they have earned it, have proven worthy of it, but because I have made a deliberate choice to love them regardless of their behavior. And when I think of all the times I have messed up, spoken in anger and frustration, withheld affection or love because I was still upset, how humbling and thankful I am that God does not do that to me. This is one area in which I need to work on.
The second quote she had in this first chapter is from C. S. Lewis, and I love it,
"God, who needs nothing, loves into existence wholly superfluous creatures in order that He may love and perfect them....If I may dare the biological image, God is a "host" who deliberately creates His own parasites; causes us to be that we may exploit and "take advantage of" Him. Herein is love. This is the diagram of Love Himself, the inventor of all loves."
I am a parasite. You are a parasite. We all are parasites. Not a very attractive or appealing description, is it? But it's true. And God wants us to exploit Him. A term usually viewed in the negative. But how can you negatively exploit agape love? A perfect love? You can't.
And lastly, while completing my questions, I was using my sister's Living Bible. It's neat to read a different translation from time to time. It gives verses that may be very familiar to you, a different taste. I was reading Colossians 3:14, and to summarize it basically said that if you let love guide your life, the whole church will stay together in harmony.
Isn't that awesome? If we would let agape love, sacrificial love, guide our lives, our churches would be in harmony. The whole church. Wouldn't that be nice? Wouldn't that be like a little slice of heaven on earth?
So that is my challenge right now, to make the deliberate choice to love regardless of the response, of those around me. Challenging thoughts for today, but think of all the lives that could be affected if we would each decide to love that radically in our small piece of earth......
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)