The Joys and Woes of Motherhood

grace

2012-02-13T17:25:00.000-08:00

Grace. What a powerful word. I love having grace extended toward me. To be the recipient of grace. Now to be the giver of grace....not so much. That doesn't always feel good. I don't always feel like it...my heart isn't in it, so why should I fake it?
This morning my darling girls decided it would be fun to wake up at 3 am. My girls. Not my boy, who at 18 months, I would have freely forgiven. Perhaps he was feeling pain from teething, maybe a bad dream, or maybe even a diaper that needed changing. No, my girls just thought it would be fun to have a party at 3 am.
Unfortunately, their father and I didn't get the memo about the party and we weren't very happy about it. I went over twice and could still hear them whispering and talking. They finally quieted down and then about half an hour later all three emerge to use the bathroom. Together. Yes, they start young. What is that about? To say my husband was irritated would be an understatement. He went over to the bathroom, opened the door, and gave the girls quite a fright! They were just getting ready to go back to their room, so opening the door and finding their irate father, wasn't something they were expecting. They go back to their room and proceed to keep talking!!!!! Nate had just laid back down and he jumped up and went over and let them have the "what for". He came back to bed and I just said that perhaps this is just preparing me for a nursing baby. Needless to say, it was almost 4:30 before the house was quiet and we fell back to sleep.
Waking up this morning, I just felt mad. I felt mad reading my daily Bible reading. I felt irritated as I read my blogs on google reader. I felt upset as I drank my morning coffee. I felt a headache coming on as the kids emerged from their rooms. And the crazy thing is, they came out already dressed, beds made, and pleasant. But this mama wasn't feeling very pleasant. I wasn't feeling very graceful. I just wanted to be angry for a while. I felt justified in my anger. I wanted to sit in it for a while. Why? I mean, seriously, who wants to stay there?
To make myself feel better I called my mom and told her what happened, wanting her pity, and then I confessed that I just wanted to stay mad about it. She laughed. It is really kind of funny when you think about it. I wanted to wallow in my self pity and self righteous attitude, because I felt I deserved to be angry.
All I can say, is THANK YOU JESUS He doesn't do that to me. I can be so selfish and immature, even in my thirties. Sometimes I feel it can get harder....this dying to yourself. The only example our children have of God's grace is the grace extended to them from the adults in their lives. That is what they will associate God's grace with. What a responsibility. What a choice we have to make. Every day. Sometimes every moment. And I fail. A lot. But I am so thankful for Grace. And so, God has been laying on my heart the double standard I hold in mine. I want God's grace for when I screw up, but when my children make mistakes, whether childish innocence or intentional, I want them to know how it offended me for the rest of the day. I want to hang it over their heads.
Our transgressions are as far as the east is from the west. They are in the bottom of the ocean. Please remove the plank from my eye...help me to be Your hands and feet. To show Your grace. Grace that makes us white as snow.

Windows and Doors

2012-02-13T17:01:00.000-08:00

Guess what? We FINALLY closed last Wednesday. So now begins the remodel on the house. Of course this will be done slowly, as we have the money, but tomorrow morning, my hubby will be ordering the windows and french door for the house. I am so excited! It will be about 21-24 days until they are finished and then they will need to be installed. We already have our block to build the addition, so hopefully once we get our hay shed built and finished planting, we can go to work on that. It's amazing to watch transformation. And it's not just limited to houses or things. People can be transformed as well. I am excited to document the changes in the house, as well as some personal lessons we learn along the way. Pinterest has been my friend lately. It's a great place to save those pictures of inspiration found on the web. It's a great time waster as well. I am trying to be more diligent and watch the time I spend online.
Just wanted to fill you in on the house! Have a great week!

the house

2012-02-04T15:13:00.000-08:00

For anyone wondering, what is going on with that remodel project....well let me tell you! We ran into some glitches with the irrigation wells, and therefore, all our money has been going into fixing that right now. Farming is our bread and butter and here in the desert, we need water! So that is our first priority. We are ready to order windows and exterior doors, and will hopefully do that soon. We also have the block to build the addition onto the house, it's just finding the time! Plus, the domestic well needs some attention as well, and so right now, there is no water at the house! Which isn't too handy for a pregnant lady, if you know what I mean!! :)

We have most of the popcorn ceiling scraped off, and it's a white powdery mess on the floor! We originally had hoped to be in the house before baby was born. The due date is May 16th, right smack dab in the middle of hay and oats. By the end of April my man will be so busy that the house will have to take a back seat. So at this point, it is looking like we won't be in before baby. However, I am still holding onto some hope that the impossible can happen! We have seen God step in and help us out in some pretty amazing ways lately, and so we are just trusting in Him.

Here's to hoping and praying that I have some improvement pictures to show in the coming weeks!!

Spring is coming.....

2012-02-03T05:47:00.000-08:00

Winter time out here can kind of be a drag. We don't get snow to cover the ground, so all we see for the majority of winter is brown, brown, brown. And it gets windy about February and can sometimes last till Spring. But I know spring is coming. It's already been decided. Reading verses in the Bible about the desert mean more to me now because I actually live in the desert....in a dry and thirsty land. But, come about January, you see tiny changes, fields greening up, which means spring is coming.

I love that verse about the darkest hour is just before the dawn. I think about that sometimes when I am watching the sun come up. It's the darkest just before the light starts piercing the darkness. Just before the miracle. Just before God acts.

Here are our patches of green in the desert. It's amazing that even in the desert in winter time, there is life. The fields are starting to green up. There is hope!

Just thought I would send some encouragement to whoever might need it. Spring is coming. If you feel you are in your darkest hour, and all hope is gone, the Son is just about to rise!

January Fun

2012-01-21T07:42:00.000-08:00

With the advanced technology we have today, living in Arizona doesn't always feel as far away from Pennsylvania, where almost all of my family is. I can easily catch up with family and friends on Facebook, or Skype. But when I got up this morning and saw that there was snow in PA, it made me smile to think that my kids were doing this yesterday afternoon......

It was a nice 70 degrees plus here. So the kids decided to play with the water hose and get all kinds of muddy! As you can see, Landon took a spill somewhere. It was really quite funny. I know it's just the beginning of mud becoming a part of my life on a more regular basis.

In other exciting news, we have another big girl in the house....

She very coolly and calmly pulled out her two bottom teeth yesterday. So the tooth fairy made her appearance last night after the girls fell asleep. It was so funny to hear them giggle with delight this morning as they woke up and found two shiny coins under the toothless one's pillow. The tooth fairy in this house believes in leaving coins. When you have five children, you need to conserve!!! :)

And lastly, I thought I would leave you with this beauty. I got to witness this earlier this week during my quiet time in the morning. Even though it's still a struggle to get out of bed while it's still dark outside, I do enjoy seeing this out my window.....

Hope you have a relaxing and blessed weekend!!!

How is it going?

2012-01-16T13:58:00.000-08:00

Well, I posted about my New Year's Resolutions a week or more ago. How is it going? Hmm......

1. Wake up earlier: I have been waking up earlier. Usually between 6 and 6:30. I am finding my day starts so much better when I am awake before the kids and dressed for the day.
2. Go to bed earlier: I have been doing better with this. There have been a few nights where I was up past ten, which to some of you is still early, but for me...not so much.
3. Planning meals: yes, I have been doing better with that, and so has my spending at the grocery store! I seriously spend less money at the store when I plan my meals out two weeks and go shopping every two weeks. I sometimes go mid week for milk or fresh fruit. But I feel less stressed in the morning because I already know what I am making.
4. Go for walks a few times a week: yeah, not so much. Need to work on this one.
5. Drink more water: same answer as above! :)
6. Not to raise my voice: I have been trying to do better. There were a few times in the last week where I lost my cool, but I apologized and we moved on. Thank goodness kids are so forgiving!
7. Blog more consistently: Haha!!!!!
8. Take more pictures: again, I am trying not to laugh. I think I picked up the camera once since then. And it was to take a picture of this:

Yes, he's riding the vacuum. After this picture he proceeded to stand on the vacuum and climb up onto a chair. I caught him this morning on the table. I have a monkey in the house now.
9. Put money into savings more consistently: I have put some in, but it's only January. I will check back in a few months on this one.
10. Give more: same as above.
11. Email, call, write letters to family more: I thought I would make Friday my letter writing day. But I have been back-logged with paperwork for year end stuff, and getting ready for taxes, that I haven't done this. I did write a letter last night to our girl, Sarah, we are sponsoring through Amazima.
12. PRAY more: This is a never-ending one. I could always pray more.
13. Laugh more: oh, I feel as though there has been little to laugh about these past weeks, but I am trying!
14. Hug and kiss my kids more: a constant, never-ending process....
15. Date night: well, Saturday my hubby and I did go to Lowe's and talk windows and cabinets without kids. Does that count? And tomorrow night we are going to a bank dinner, where beforehand we will sign our life away and buy some more land, oh and they will feed us. Does that count?

So there has been some progress made. Habits take time to form, and we are only in January. I am hoping to press on and keep plugging away, clinging to the grace of an all merciful God.

On a side note, we went to Lowes, and I just can't figure out why when given two choices, I always pick the most expensive. Really.

I've noticed lots of people picking a word for the year. I've been thinking of this, and I believe that my word for the year 2012 is, RESTORE. Not only are we RESTORING a house this year, but I am also hoping and believing this will be the year for RESTORATION in relationships. I have some that need some mending, and I know I have friends and family who need some RESTORATION. So that is what I am praying for.

How are you resolutions going?

New Year's Resolutions

2012-01-05T13:53:00.000-08:00

This is the first year in a while that I have actually written down any New Year's Resolutions. I've seen lots of other resolutions and thought I'd throw mine in there too! :)

1. Wake up earlier: I found myself getting into this bad habit of not waking up until my kids did, which made our mornings more hectic. I have been trying this week to get up earlier so I can get myself ready for the day and ready for my kids.

2. Go to bed earlier: this is like a bad cycle. If you go to bed late, then you wake up late, and on it goes! So I am trying to be in bed between nine and half past, and not getting sucked into some meaningless television shows.

3. Plan meals: I had been doing pretty good with this last year, but the last couple months things just kind of fell apart. I want to get back into it because it doesn't take a lot of time, I spend less at the grocery store, and I feel better everyday getting up and knowing what I am making.

4. Go for walks a few times a week: getting out in the sunshine is so good for you! Plus, with having a baby in four more months, it's good exercise. And it actually gives me more energy for my family.

5. Drink more water: midwife's orders! :)

6. Not to raise my voice: yeah, this might come as a surprise to some, but I can be a yeller. And I really dislike this trait about myself, and I am hoping to better control my anger and frustration.

7. Lose the sarcasm: along with the above, sometimes I let sarcasm take control. And then I notice my oldest talking that way to her sisters. Not cool. Have I ever mentioned how humbling having kids around is?

8. Blog more consistently: I have baby books, but if I am honest, I haven't written in them hardly at all. Right now at this moment, I can't even tell you where they are! This blog is one of the most up to date things I do and that's not always very consistent. I want to be more consistent. To have something for my kids to look back on and read.

9. Take more pictures: I saw one blog where the lady wanted to take a picture everyday. I should be taking more pictures of our family.

10. Put money into savings more consistently: very important.

11. Give more: when I wrote this down I was thinking financially, but I should be giving more in all areas. I want to have eyes, mind, and heart open to the needs around me, and be more willing to give. To the point it hurts.

12. Email, call, write letters more to family: when I wrote this I was thinking of grandparents. I hardly keep in touch throughout the year, and that is not good. They won't be here forever.

13. PRAY more: self-explanatory

14. Laugh more: sometimes I feel like I don't laugh with my kids as much as I should. I end up feeling frustrated instead of just laughing and letting go of the childish mistakes. Life happens. Laughing makes it go a little easier.

15. Hug and Kiss my kids more: if I don't do it now, it won't get easier as they get older. I want to have close relationships with my kids.

16. Date night: I ended this one with a question mark in my journal. I would love to have a regular date night, but with the kind of life we have, my husband's time can be very limited. So maybe once a month would be good. At least during the winter. During summer....not so much. I just don't want our kids to grow up and move out and he and I not know how to relate to each other without the kids.

It seems like a lot of things, doesn't it? But I have a whole year. And most of these resolutions are things that are ongoing. There is no end to them. But these are the changes I am hoping to make in the coming year.

Do you have any resolutions for the coming year?

Christmas 2011

2012-01-02T14:20:00.000-08:00

This year Christmas was extra special because my sister, Ashlea, came and spent two weeks with us. We made lots of good food, cut snowflakes out, smeared glitter all over the place, decorated a gingerbread house, and saw the Nutcracker ballet. Here are a few photos....

We made lots of good food. Here the girls are helping Ash cut out sugar cookies. We made sugar cookies, whoopie pies, peanut butter temptations, doughnuts, cinnamon rolls, brownies, and french bread. We kinda like our carbs around here!

On Christmas Eve we let the kids open one gift.....

Snowflake pajamas!!!! You can see how excited they were! And then off to bed they went to wait for Christmas morning.....

One of the gifts was lincoln logs. The girls were having hard time keeping this guy up here from destroying their work. He's a rough boy. But he did like the barn daddy built for his tractor! And then we went sledding. The first time ever for the girls, and it had been quite a few years for Nate and Ashlea. I didn't sled. For obvious reasons!!!

The view up the mountain to the snow

Rustler Park

Snow!!

Landon & Larissa

He wasn't too happy!

Ash & Larissa heading up the hill

Here they come!

Fun times!

Dad and the girls on the scout

We had a great end to 2011, and are looking forward to 2012. Thanks for stopping by!

Happy New Year

2011-12-31T06:25:00.001-08:00

I want to wish you all a very happy 2012. I pray this will be a year of untold favor. That we will see our Glorious Lord move in ways we haven't seen. For health, strength. For wisdom in making the right decisions. To live in wild abandon for the glory of our King.

Thank you so much for hanging out with us here on this little blog. We hope you will join us for 2012 as we go through a year of transition. That's what I am calling it anyway! Between remodeling a new home, expecting a baby in May, and the end of a lifelong farming relationship (for my husband), change is abounding and coming our way whether we like it or not! Change is good. It causes us to step out in faith, to truly wait upon the Lord. We are refined, and the dross is stripped away. More of our Jesus shines through. Not that it isn't painful or at times feels like we are all alone out on a limb. But keep pushing through. There is freedom and unspeakable joy waiting on the other side.

Here is a little sneak peek of our little love coming sometime in May.....

This is our little Anne Noelle. We had already decided on a girl and boy name before going for the ultrasound, so either way, I felt good about naming the baby. Anne is my middle name and also happens to be the name of one of my most favorite literary characters, Anne of Green Gables. Anne means "one of grace". Noelle is my youngest sister's middle name. I always loved that name and how feminine the spelling made the name look. This ultrasound was special because my sister was along, so she got to see a first glimpse of her namesake. Our first daughter has a combo of my name and my sister Alyssa's name. And our third daughter has part of Alyssa's middle name in her middle name, Elizabeth. My sister's middle is Beth. I just wanted to explain that in case anyone thought my other sister was getting the shaft. :)

Our girls were not very thrilled at having another girl. They thought for sure we would have another boy. They really wanted a brother for Landon. They were only upset for the first couple hours after telling them. Now they can't wait for Anne to get here to hold her, rock her, and yes, change her diaper!

I will post more about our fantastic time with my sister who spent Christmas with us this year. I just wanted to send you our New Year's greeting and a little sneak peek of baby Anne.

Happy New Year!

Project Restoration

2011-12-12T12:54:00.000-08:00

So we have taken on a new challenge. Not that farming in the desert if enough of a challenge! My in-laws have sold their farm. They will farm it for one more year, but by the spring of 2013, they must be out and so must we since our house in on their farm. In anticipation of this, we have recently begun the purchase of some additional acreage that also includes a house and shop. The house is smaller then what we are currently living in. And will require some restoration......you will see what I mean........

This is my favorite part of the house. It has a fireplace! I can't wait for next winter when we can sit by the fire. I love the smell of a fireplace!

This is the living room. This is the room you enter when you come in the front door. The white on the carpet is the popcorn ceiling my husband is scraping off.

Front window

Looking at the dining room. Patio doors go to the outside where there is a carport.

Looking into the kitchen from the living room. Nate has already started taking out the overhead cabinets.

My kitchen! The door goes into the mudroom/office/schoolroom/family room

This is our multipurpose room!

Laundry area in the multipurpose room

Bedroom #1

Bedroom#2

Master bedroom

Scary master bathroom. It really is as big as it looks. Which is not at all!

Hall closet. Door to the right is kids' bathroom. Which is lots bigger then the master.

So, this is our new project! We don't really have a time frame. Of course, we would love to have the house done before May, which is when our baby is due. We would love to "christen" the new home with a birth. However, we must be realistic!!!
I'll update with photos now and then as we plug away.

2011-12-08T07:14:00.001-08:00

I am not even sure how I want to go about writing this post......this is something that has been simmering in the back of my mind for quite a while, and yesterday was the icing on the cake. I had to go to the lab yesterday to get some blood work done. I had all four kids in tow, and as we walked in, I saw an elderly gentleman and a middle aged man sitting next to each other in the waiting room. The kids and I sat down to wait our turn for me to talk to the receptionist. As the girls found their seats, I heard the elderly man say to the younger, in not quite a whisper...you know, just loud enough for you to hear what he has to say, because he really wants you to hear it......"Three girls and one boy.....I feel sorry for her!"
As I sat there, I was thinking, what would he think if I unzipped my jacket and let him see that not only do I have four children, but actually have another one on the way?
After I talked to the receptionist and then was called back to get stuck, my kids all coming along, the girl who was taking my blood asked me if the kids were all mine. I don't think she was much older then me. I said yes, they were all mine. Then she proceeded to say, "Wow, and you have another one on the way? You must really like children." I said yes, of course we loved children. Then she continued in saying that her husband doesn't want children, and neither does she, that they both really like to to travel. I left there feeling sad.
I get comments a lot out in public. It's not often I get out by myself. So anytime I am at the grocery store, I get those looks, those remarks about how I have my hands full. But what is really sad is that these comments are not just random comments I get from people out in public. They are alive and well within the church as well. I can't tell you how many comments I get from people who are God-fearing, God-loving people.
"Haven't you figured out how that happens yet?"
"Don't you know what cable television is for?"
"Aren't you busy enough?"
It feels like people have forgotten that God loves children. It says in Psalms, "Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them." Now everyone has their own opinion of what makes a full quiver, but please don't project your personal number onto me. Jesus loved children. He reprimanded the disciples for keeping the children away from Him. He also goes on to say that only those who become like children can enter the kingdom of God.
I think it's very sad how slowly the world is becoming anti-children. Fifty, sixty years ago, large families were the norm. Now, they are rare and looked on sometimes as crazy or obscene.
Last Sunday a new older couple sat behind us in church. I had to use the bathroom, so my husband was talking to them and introduced me to them when I got back to my seat. The wife leaned over to me and said, "I just love the size of your family, and the fact that you are having another one." That was balm to my soul. Like an assurance from heaven, that God loves kids. Big families, small families, adopted families. He loves all children. They are eternal souls, and the only thing you can take with you to heaven.

Daybook

2011-11-16T06:18:00.001-08:00

A Daybook for Wednesday, November 16, 2011......

Outside my window......the sun has just made its appearance over the eastern mountains, splashing light into the valley below.

I am thinking......of all I want to get done today after two days of running around, of how good it will be to go to bible study this morning and see ladies I haven't seen in a while.

I am thankful for.....health, strength, fallish winter sunrises and sunsets, cold evenings, warm house, snuggly little ones

From the learning room.....we are done with Class day. It was a great experience, but I am looking forward to having my Mondays back. The girls are enjoying the story of The Little Duke.

From the kitchen....I am going to be making one of my favorite cookies this week for a cookie exchange. Temptations, peanut butter cups in the center! Yummmmmyy!

I am reading.....the Anne of Green Gables series. All of them. There are nine or so books. I reread them every winter. And I am looking at lots of home magazines for inspiration for our next big project.....

I am hoping......for love, joy and peace, through this coming holiday season. I am hoping for unity in family and good fellowship as we all come together. I am hoping for wisdom and discernment in the coming year. I am hoping for a strong and healthy bundle of joy in May. :)

I am hearing.....the dryer in the background, my computer keys as I write this, my baby boy entertaining himself, sleepy girls awaking to the day.

Around the house.....dusting, dusting, dusting! And laundry! And baking, and floors need washing!

One of my favorite things.....drinking coffee in the stillness of the morning, before the sun if up, before the children are up, reading my one year bible plan.

A few plans for the rest of the week.....catching up on all the housework, schoolwork, and baking!

And here are more things I am thankful for this week.....

241. rustling of the leaves
242. delighted squeals of the girls on the playset
243. trimming back flowers for the winter
244. roar of the combine
245. lights on at night to welcome us home
246. little girls in ballet outfits
247. arms reaching for me
248. finding new recipes
249. our little part of earth preparing for winter
250. girls collecting leftover pinto beans from the field
251. bright red geraniums
252. peach encrusted boy
253. flannel sheets
254. cooking breakfast together
255. snow on the mountains
256. cold, windy days
257. cozy blankets
258. reading the "Anne" series again
259. shopping for Christmas gifts
260. Operation Christmas Child

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One of those days....

2011-11-10T13:15:00.001-08:00

It's been one of those days.....those days where I can hardly stand myself. One of those days where I am inwardly criticizing myself and yelling at myself as I impatiently deal with and sometimes snap at my children. My house can't seem to stay clean. I have no idea why! (Grin) It's not like I have lots of little ones running around, being creative in play and leaving their creativity behind. I have stacks of paper in different locations, my floors need swept, bathrooms cleaned, and kitchen floor washed. And as soon as I do one thing, there's five others to take it's place. Yeah, just one of those days I'd like to crawl into a hole and never come out.
The other night, as I was tucking in my oldest, she burst into tears. I asked her what was wrong, figuring she was just tired. She is my one child who seems to need a little extra sleep, and we had been busy the last few days.
"Mom, I am just so selfish! And I can't seem to stop it!"
Oh my. I hid back a smile. Oh, to be able to stop it completely. To not give into flesh. To be Jesus all the time. And she's only seven. Here I am, thirty-two, and some days I feel like I act no better then a three year old. I told her that being selfish is a lifelong battle against self. But that because we belong to Jesus, we have His strength to call upon. We have his help. It's only a prayer away. And as I spoke to her, soothing her tears, I felt as though I was speaking to myself as much as to her. He is only a prayer away. But how often do I give into the way I feel and react? Say hurtful things that I then have to go back and apologize for? I could get it right the first time. Slow down....take a deep breath.....ask what is the best way to handle this situation....and then proceed?
Help me Lord. Some days I feel as though I am doing more damage then good. Help me show Your love through me. Help me to be unselfish.

Twin Springs

2011-11-07T18:16:00.000-08:00

One of my most favorite places to go when I was a child was Twin Springs. That is the name of the hunting cabin that my grandpa has been a member of for as long as I can remember. It is very primitive. There is no running water or electricity. Lights, oven, and fridge are all run on gas. And there is a fireplace and a woodstove. While I was in Pennsylvania visiting family and friends, I took my kids up there for their first visit. Needless to say, they loved it.....even though it was freezing cold! We had to use the woodstove every single day and night of the weekend. But it was beautiful!

Here is the cabin

Beautiful stone chimney

The "shanty". The highlight of the girls time. I wasn't sure how this would go over, but they never minded. And usually picked the most inconvenient times to go out there.

Oh fall, how I love you!

Auntie Lys with Landon, who wasn't cooperating!

Here we go!

The girls!

Gotta love the faces!

Happy boy!

Some more beautiful trees

Fall is one of my favorite seasons. Living in Arizona, if you blink, you might miss it! So going back to PA during the fall is one of my favorite things to do. And being up in the mountains has always brought me a measure of peace and quiet to my soul. Now on this trip, I must admit, I didn't feel as relaxed as I would normally. I had a cold that ended up lasting for over two weeks, and wasn't feeling the greatest, but it was still a good time. Not too mention the snoring, heavy breathing, toddler waking up in the middle of the night, and kids falling out of bed!

And here are some more gifts...between home and Pennsylvania....

221. road trips

222. fall in the East

223. leaves changing colors

224. coming home to him

225. the daily routine

226. harvest smells in the air

227. potato soup in the crockpot

228. going to bed early

229. uploading photos of our trip

230. leaves falling

231. kids playing in the leaves

232. seeing old friends

233. realizing distance cannot change friends of the "heart"

234. Turkey Hill iced tea

235. apple cider

236. Jimmy Mack's chocolate ice cream

237. home always feels the same

238. crackle of the fire

239. time with brother and sisters

240. my parents

Linking up over with Ann Voskamp at A Holy Experience....

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Is it almost November?

2011-10-31T19:59:00.000-07:00

Is today really the last day of October? Really? Time is just flying by....faster then sand in an hourglass. Only four weeks or so until Thanksgiving, and then it's Christmas! Sometimes I wish I could just slow it down. Savor life more. Breathe deep. Relax. Chill out. The practice of writing down gifts, grace-filled moments of daily life is a good practice. But I am finding I am not disciplined. I forget. I go days without writing anything down. Sometimes a week.
Help me to slow down Lord. To look for the moments. The small pleasures. Those tender, grace-filled moments, amid the chaos of life, the routine, the ordinary.

211. wispy cotton candy clouds
212. dreaming
213. making plans
214. scarecrows
215. dirty glass on door where kids press their faces
216. highlighting passages in a good book
217. cottonwood trees
218. dirt roads
219. halting first steps of a toddler
220. how the list grows

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Harvest

2011-10-31T19:50:00.000-07:00

It's that time of year. Probably a farmer's most favorite time of year. Harvest. Our harvest is almost over. By tomorrow all the corn will be combined. There are two circle of pinto beans, and some hay left to be baled, but the end is in sight. Here are a few pictures I got of the guys hard at work.

Ray filling the grain cart with corn

Beautiful view

Lone cornstalk

Clear, blue skies

My farmer bringing the grain to semi

"Yes, son, mommy is always going to take your picture!"

Smiley Lainy

Silly Charlotte

Grown up Larissa

Here it comes!

Filling the trailer

Grandpa running the combine

2011-10-25T20:43:00.000-07:00

It is quiet now. I have just tucked the girls into bed and have come out to the living room. There is a pile of laundry that needs to be folded, and I wish I could say that the house is all picked up and ready for another day tomorrow, but I would be misleading you. That hasn't been happening too often around here. I am still recovering from our big trip to Pennsylvania.
The above sign, my sister made for me while I was in. It is a quote that I borrowed from Ann Voskamp. She wrote the book, "One Thousand Gifts" and if you haven't read it, I would highly recommend it. All is Grace. Even the toys strewn about, the markers and crayons on the table, the pile of laundry staring you down, the dirty dishes in the sink, that sticky spot on the floor that no matter how many times you've wiped it, it doesn't go away, yet you don't have time or energy to mop the floor. Yes, even those are grace-filled moments. Are you looking for them? Do you take the time to notice? I struggle with it. All.the.time. Especially when I am feeling overwhelmed.
But it is quiet now. A good time to process thoughts. To write things down. To pray. To listen. And here are more graces to add to my list.....

181. canning pears
182. puddles
183. rain dripping off the roof
184. naps on a rainy afternoon
185. all afternoon rain
186. parched desert turning green
187. renewal
188. rebirth
189. hope
190. change
191. crickets
192. dry breeze
193. brisk mornings
194. butterflies
195. little girl trying to catch butterflies
196. unexpected, yet exciting news
197. children playing at the kitchen table
198. little girls listening to Little Women on tape
199. peaceful Saturday morning
200. ironing jeans for my hardworking farmer
201. fall evenings
202. baby boy who stands and rubs his belly
203. change of seasons
204. boy splashing in dog's water dish
205. anticipating harvest
206. lazy day
207. frisky kitten
208. setting sun casting shadows on the mountains
209. fresh, cut grass smell
210. hearing a pivot running in the stillness of the evening

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Life keeps movin' on

2011-09-29T14:06:00.000-07:00

I feel like it has been hard to keep up with blogging lately. That and I don't know what to write about. I am too tired and pulled in too many different directions to take the time to sit down and write. We are doing a homeschool co-op on Mondays, and it's been kicking my tail. And the last week we've had something going on everyday. That is not normal. And I hope it doesn't become the new normal. But life goes in seasons, it ebbs and flows. But I did get some recent pictures of the kids because I realized it's been a while since I have taken any.

And the list of gifts continue....

161. air cooling enough we don't need the air conditioner

162. cup of coffee in the evening

163. friends visiting

164. snuggling with my 4 year old

165. fall

166. perfect song at the perfect moment

167. new life

168. moon rising over the mountains, above the clouds

169. stillness of twilight

170. tiger-striped kittens

171. purrs

172. brave men and women who protect us

173. picking pears

174. freedom

175. grace

176. girls playing with balloons

177. fall decorations

178. baby feet

179. Eskimo kisses

180. girls going with dad for the afternoon

We are preparing for a trip back to the good ol' state of Pennsylvania next week. My gracious mother in law is bravely going with me and the four kids. What's that you ask? Why, yes, of course we are driving the THIRTY-SIX hours back. Am I crazy? Well, no, but ask me when I get home!!!!

More gifts....

2011-09-20T11:42:00.000-07:00

I have been writing down my gifts for over a month now. I have been noticing an ebb and flow to my gift listing. When I am feeling rushed, stressed and overwhelmed, my list doesn't grow as quickly. But when I am feeling caught up, and rested, my list expands quickly. When I am feeling most stressed is when I should be looking for my gifts, slowing down to find them. I need to remember that. sigh. So much growing left to do.....here are the next few on my list!

129. a good night's sleep after being up the night before sick
130. children playing nicely
131. brave boy getting shots
132. playing uno with the girls
133. hearing how helpful the girls were for Grandma
134. new cookbooks
135. decluttering
136. quiet evening of reading
137. His promise to never leave us
138. a fun game of Dutch Blitz
139. listening to favorite hymns
140. hitting all the lights green on the way to church
141. corporate prayer
142. agreeing in prayer with Nate
143. forgiveness
144. Jesus paid it all
145. our little family
146. hope
147. cloudy mornings
148. trees loaded down with fruit
149. lunch with friends
150. popcorn on the stove
151. birds calling to each other early in the gray morning
152. smell of a campfire
153. sticky fingers
154. excited girls
155. telling stories around the fire
156. watching the flickering lights dance across the faces of my loved ones
157. hearing the sound of him coming home
158. first stars
159. half moon
160. rain through the night

Keep looking for the gifts....sometimes I would love to know how many I miss. Open my eyes further Lord...let me see all Your goodness!

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What Can I Do?

2011-09-18T19:44:00.000-07:00

I finished reading "The Hole in Our Gospel" by Richard Stearns about a week and a half ago. If you haven't read it yet, I would strongly encourage you to grab it and read it. He is the president of World Vision. If you have been reading my blog for a little while, you may have noticed that I put some new buttons along my sidebar. I have been feeling convicted about doing more for the orphans in this world. And one small way I can do something is by sponsoring a child. It is really amazing how for so little you can help feed, educate, and clothe a child. And they are going to church and learning about a Savior who loves them wildly. We sponsor two children through Compassion International. For $39 a month, you can help do all the above for a child. In return, you get letters from these amazing children. And it brings tears to my eyes when I read they are praying for me. Praying for me. These children who have to walk every day to bring water to their families, who may eat the same thing every day, who live with the threat of disease, who may sleep on the floor. They pray for me. But no matter how wealthy we are here in America, and we are wealthy here (according to Stearns book, if you make over $25,000 a year, you are wealthier then over 95% of the world, and if you make over $50,000 you are wealthier than 99% of the world), we all still need the same Savior. We all still have the same need. We all still need forgiveness, grace, mercy. I can't tell you the joy and excitement I feel when I see we have received another letter in the mail.
We also sponsor a young lady through Amazima. If you have time, you really need to click on that button and head over to the website. Click on Katie's story, and you will read how this amazing ministry got started by a young 18 or 19 year old girl. This ministry is based out of Uganda, Africa. This country holds a special place in my heart because my sister went there with Compassion International and our church has hosted the Watoto Children's Choir from Uganda as well. Katie has a book coming out the beginning of October telling her story, and I can't wait to read it.
We would like to sponsor one more child, and I believe we will probably do it through World Vision. We would like to have a sponsored child for each of our own biological children. But we look at our sponsored children as part of our own family. We pray for them everyday. And see their pictures every time we open our fridge.
As the Church, part of our responsibility is to the orphans and widows of the world. I would challenge you to look at ways that you could possibly encourage an orphan, perhaps by sponsoring, or even through adoption. It will be a decision you won't regret, if done to bring honor and glory to God. Please check out the sites on my sidebar, and even if you can't sponsor a child, you can give money to those areas in Africa right now being hit hard by the famine.

Whimisical Wednesday

2011-09-14T14:11:00.000-07:00

For today......September 14, 2011

Outside my window....it's cloudy and looks as though there is a storm to the south. There is a slight breeze and the ground is still damp from rain last night.

I am thinking......of all the cleaning and catching up I have to do. And trying to think of fun things to do with the kids in school this year.

I am thankful for....a home, plenty to eat, family. A God who passionately loves and pursues me. Gulp.

From the learning room....the girls are doing well this year so far. It's early, but one can be hopeful that their desire to learn will grow with them.

From the kitchen....I am making pinto bean bread for the first time! A little nervous. Hope it turns out all right. And I am going to try a new peanut butter granola bar recipe.

I am reading.....I just finished A Hole in Our Gospel. Wow. Amazing, convicting book. I am still reading Lies Women Believe, and have started reading again, One Thousand Gifts. Got my own copy so I can highlight and mark to my heart's content! :)

I am hoping....for clear direction. Clarity in decisions that need to be made.

I am hearing....my washing machine going to rinse cycle, distant thunder, hymns for worship on pandora

Around the house....floors need washing, kitchen and bathrooms need cleaning, toys are scattered about, pears are ready to can.

One of my favorite things.....when my girls read to me...or when baby boy rests his head on my shoulder

A few plans for the week....can pears, do school everyday, enjoy the fall as it slowly sneaks up on us

All is Grace

2011-09-13T14:42:00.000-07:00

It's Tuesday and I still haven't done my post to link up to A Holy Experience! Life has been CRAZY. There is the potential for a big time change and we are just waiting on the Lord and trying to seek His direction these days. We should always live that way. But sometimes, when you get into a routine, you relax. You let things slide. You forget. And then...WHAM! God reminds you Who is in charge. I found with life getting busier, I wasn't slowing down to see the gifts. My mind was just going to the next thing I had to get done. Check it off my list. But while I was hurrying to check things off, I was becoming short, sarcastic, impatient...anything but grace-filled, you know what I am saying? Like your kids look at you like you grew another head. Looking for gifts is a habit....a discipline, if you will. But this simple act can totally change your outlook, your perspective on life. So here are the next on my list.....

101. chocolate chip cookie dough
102. baking cookies
103. smell of rain in the air
104. naptime
105. dishwasher
106. washing dishes and looking out my window
107. red geraniums
108. reading other gift lists
109. kittens lapping up their milk
110. messy house (means there was living going on, right? :)
111. dirty floors
112. hammock
113. relaxing in the hammock
114. feeling the gentle breeze kiss my cheeks
115. watching three determined little girls try to climb a tree
116. two little girls in their ballet outfits
117. beautiful sunset
118. sun breaking through the clouds
119. blue and pink tinged sky
120. vanilla creamer
121. hazelnut coffee
122. smells of fall
123. eating cookies
124. reading library books to the girls
125. snuggling with a sick little girl
126. quilts hanging on the washline
127. putting sun warmed quilts back on the bed
128. his smile meant only for me
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Fall

2011-09-10T11:26:00.000-07:00

Overnight the air has seemed to dry out, a cool breeze blowing from the south, almost like fall is blowing in. A good morning to actually sit outside and drink a cup of coffee without breaking a sweat. Now weather can be a fickle thing. It's only mid September and I know we have a good month yet of warm weather. But today is a nice respite. And I will gladly take it. Fall is symbolic of my life right now. A season coming to an end. A new season to look forward to. There are changes on the horizon. I can feel it. Endings are sad, but inevitable. Beginnings are scary, yet promise much adventure. It's a crossroad. Which way do you take? We have lots of decisions to make in the coming months. Decisions that don't offer a clear direction. Sometimes it's hard to discern where God is leading. Sometimes there doesn't seem to be a right or wrong answer per say, but what is best? I wish God would send us a memo sometimes! How easy it would be. But where would the trusting and faith come in? The stretching and the training our ears to hear and listen to what God is calling us to do.
So as the leaves slowly start to change from green to gold, and the corn starts to dry down, waiting for harvest, and the air turns cooler and drier, we pray. And we wait. And we believe and trust that God will lead us in the right direction. Always.

More Gifts

2011-09-04T17:12:00.000-07:00

Already that time of the week! It's Sunday afternoon, we have yet again missed another storm, and so we are praying and trusting that God knows we need the rain, and His plan is best! This is an accumulation over the last two weeks.....

36. afternoon naps
37. kittens
38. shucking corn
39. cutting corn
40. hugs
41. kisses
42. little girls' bedtime prayers
43. ring around the tub after kids' baths
44. girls playing with kittens
45. dirty boy
46. old recliner
47. pancake syrupy baby
48. warm slice of homemade bread with butter
49. homemade strawberry jam
50. damp curls at the nape of the neck
51. desert turning green during monsoon
52. storm clouds growing
53. kitten curled up in cowboy boot, napping
54. naps in the car
55. freckles across the bridge of her nose
56. cotton candy clouds
57. lightning show
58. barley loaded on hopper
59. thunder
60. baby boy pushing tractors on his knees
61. "vroom" "vroom" noises by baby boy
62. the promise of life eternal
63. working as a time
64. clean floors
65. dishwasher
66. clothesline
67. fresh dried clothes
68. freeze pops
69. sharing a freeze pop with baby
70. a quiet morning reading the Word
71. children sleeping in
72. You are in the details!
73. mountains
74. cloud cover during an afternoon run
75. cool breezes during run
76.ice cold clean water
77. a full freezer to organize
78. blueberries
79. raspberries
80. fresh cut grass
81. sweet smelling rose
82. dirty kids
83. nursing baby boy for the last time
84. flying a kite
85. kids playing outside, rather then sitting in front of the TV
86. last days of summer
87. sprinkler watering the yard
88. cut rose on my kitchen windowsill
89. sweet scent of roses
90. newborn baby
91. baby snuggled up on my chest
92. baby showers
93. soft, curly, baby hair
94. smooth perfect baby skin
95. brisk mornings
96. hot coffee
97. good fellowship
98. sweet "good nights"
99. cheerful boy
100. chocolate chip cookie dough

We have dealt with the stomach flu this past week, and it was challenging to find many gifts those days, but one was definitely knowing this too shall pass! I am not as diligent as I should be in writing them down, and then I forget. But what a great practice. It really can make a difference. Take the time, write down the gifts, they are too numerous to count!

w ww.

Last days of Summer

2011-08-30T16:01:00.000-07:00

It is hard to believe that tomorrow is the LAST day of August. Seriously, where has the time gone? Before we know it, it will be FALL! That is one of my most favorite seasons. Of course, living here in Arizona, I have had to adjust my ideals about fall. We don't cool down here during the day until close to the end of October. Our nights cool off and mornings a little earlier, but the days are still warm. We run our cooler until the end of October, sometimes into November. And the leaf color isn't as amazing. The best we get is yellow. But, I still love fall.
Yesterday the girls were desperate to climb a tree. So desperate times call for desperate measures....

I noticed that they were having difficulty getting up, so I suggested they grab the step stool over at the trampoline, and try to get up the tree that way. They took my advice.....

Here is Miss Angel Cake, the only one to get up in the tree. She is truly the monkey around here. I just love this picture of her!

Our now one year old!

Strawberry Shortcake, and all her 7 years and missing two front teeth!

Boys.....are they ever clean? Do they ever stay clean? Not around here!

Gingersnap giving up on trying to climb the tree!

See all those mosquito bites? They are brutal this time of year! She decided to give it one more shot!

Now big sister is going to try!

She decided she'd rather pose for a picture with baby brother!

This is Huckleberry's favorite thing to do right now. Sit on the trike and go backwards, or get up and push it around. He will push this trike around, but trying to take any steps on his own? Forget about it!

Sigh....these days are going by too fast. My heart is slowly breaking.....

Yet, what joy they bring all at the same time!

Another week done

2011-08-28T18:13:00.000-07:00

It feels like time is just flying by around here. This past week has been extra busy. But, I did finish reading One Thousand Gifts. I have already ordered my very own copy so I can highlight and mark it up and reread it to my heart's content. So good. And I am adding to my list daily. It's been so neat to slow down and be aware. To be watching for the gifts. They are always there, just waiting for our eyes to open up and see them and enjoy them. Here are my next ten.....

25. watching the storm move across the valley
26. skype
27. ice cream
28. laying down after a long day
29. quiet
30. children sleeping
31. clean skin on clean sheets
32. girls singing to their Savior
33. determined one year old
34. planting flowers
35. extra chocolate brownies

This is just a little glimpse into my last week. It feels as though monsoon might be wrapping up. I hope not, but the air feels drier and there aren't as many clouds. But we are trusting God to provide for our harvest. We do have irrigation, but the extra rain is always a blessing, it means smaller pumping costs! School will be starting up full force here soon. I am trying to declutter and simplify our routines so I won't feel quite so overwhelmed! Especially with a toddler on the loose! Life is constantly changing, moving. At times it makes me sad because our kids are growing up way too fast. But on the other hand, I am learning to slow down, to enjoy this time, savor it, and look forward to each new milestone, praying ultimately that they will desire to walk with their Father all the days of their lives. Hope you all have a blessed day!

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Whimsical Wednesday....

2011-08-24T07:43:00.000-07:00

For today......Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Outside my window.....the sun has risen, covering the mountains with a hazy glow. Distant thunder to the southwest, grass extra dewy from a rain we received last night.

I am thinking.....how good my coffee tastes this morning, how much I have to do today.

I am thankful for....a little boy pushing a tractor around on the floor, making "vroom" noises, all the corn I have to cut this morning, a freezer I need to reorganize to make room for it all, sleeping girls back the hall, a hardworkin' man.

From the learning room.....going to cut squares today to teach the girls how to make nine patch pillows

From the kitchen....roast in the crockpot, going to be cutting corn most of the morning

I am reading..... "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp, and starting "The Hole in Our Gospel" by Richard Stearns, and am halfway through "Lies Women Believe" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. Good stuff.

I am hoping....to get it all done today with a cheerful, loving, kind, patient attitude!

I am hearing....water boiling on the stove, worship music on the computer, a hungry little boy pulling at my dress!

Around the house....I need to vacuum, pick up a gallon of milk to feed our two new hungry kittens, finish mowing, wash my floors....shall I go on? :)

One of my favorite things.....my growing list of 1000 gifts that I started keeping. You should try it. It will instill an ever present attitude of thankfulness.

A few plans for the rest of the week.....cleaning, laundry, schooling, and just LIVING!

Here is a picture thought I am sharing....

Simplicity

2011-08-21T07:20:00.000-07:00

The other evening we lost power. Our lights went off about 7:30. There was a big storm to the west of us. Unfortunately, we never received any rain, but we did enjoy a quiet, simple evening with the kids. At first the kids couldn't understand why we still couldn't watch television, turn on a light, or play on the computer. During these times you realize how co-dependent you have become on technology to "entertain" you. It was actually quite freeing, to just have nothing to do, no other option, but to sit and listen. It's amazing how quiet it is, especially in the country, when there is no humming of electronics in the background. No swamp cooler blowing cool air, no refrigerator running, no dishwasher, nothing. We sat by candlelight, talking, teaching the girls our favorite old hymns. They formed an impromptu band, playing guitar, drums, maracas, and tambourine. We put them to bed by candlelight, whispered prayers, gave kisses, and went back to sit in the quiet. Our windows were open for air flow, and we just sat in silence, hearing the wind rustling the leaves on the trees outside. It was glorious. It was peaceful. We talked about how "back in the day" this is why everyone went to bed early. They couldn't really see to do anything else without straining the eyes! But they took more joy in the simple things of life. The rising of the moon, the stars twinkling out their first hellos of the evening, the crickets calling to one another, the cool breezes of evening, the soft flicker of candlelight. All little gifts that the Lord bestows on us. We should have more evenings like that!
Here are some more of the "gifts" I have seen during this past week......

15. delightful giggle of girls playing with their dad
16. a long drive home with a friend
17. corn on the cob
18. bread baking
19. hummingbirds darting and playing
20.an evening lit by candlelight
21. singing favorite hymns
22. "I love yous" whispered in the dark
23. eating the corner brownies
24. stillness of early morning

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Thankfulness

2011-08-17T15:22:00.000-07:00

Last night I put in a request to my public library to hold Ann Voskamp's book, One Thousand Gifts. I will hopefully have it in my hands by Friday. I cannot wait to read it. I discovered her blog a couple of months ago, and have been so blessed by it. God has granted her an amazing gift! And so, I thought I would link up to her post, and add my things for the month of August, so far, that I am thankful for....

1. smell of coffee brewing in the morning
2. pages of my Bible turning
3. a well worn, well loved book
4. little girls laughing together
5. sleeping next to him
6. sheets hanging on the line
7. curtains fluttering in the breeze
8. pattering of hands and knees as baby crawls
9. cool mornings
10. chattering toddler
11. rainbow in the sky, just when I need a reminder
12. rain soaked earth
13. answered prayer-a quick response no matter how feebly prayed
14. beautiful worship music on a cloudy morning

It's been a great practice, every morning, to sit and think about something I am thankful for. There are so many little ways in which God tells us He loves us everyday. No matter the day, He is there, telling us He loves us, drawing us close to Him. We just have to open our eyes to see it.

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Worry

2011-08-12T19:07:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I worry. I know I am not supposed to, but it sneaks up on me. Invades my thoughts. Causes my heart to beat faster, I become frustrated and snappish at my kids. I start to ask internally why my husband can't have a "regular" job. And then God reminds me He is Here. Right now. Yesterday. Today. Tomorrow. FOREVER. And He knows my circumstances. He knows what I am fretting about.
Being grain farmers means we have a lot of money out and don't make any until harvest. Which is at the end of the year. Which can feel like a veeerrryyy long time away. We do double crop so we have money coming in from our oat hay to help hold us over until we harvest our corn. However, we don't always get paid in a timely manner. So I was kind of feeling the crunch on Monday. Big time. We had some big bills due, and I was feeling anxious about how we would pay for them.
At the start of our school morning, we always read a chapter out of the Bible and then take turns praying. I always close the prayer time, and while I closed our prayer time on Monday, I prayed and asked the Lord to please stir in our oat's buyer the need to pay us for our hay. I didn't really think much about it again, because, lets face it, when you are homeschooling three busy little girls, your mind can't really wander too far!
We finished school, and while I finished getting lunch ready, I asked the girls to go to the mailbox and get our mail. I watched them come in the door and I saw a big envelope. I picked it up and it felt thick!! Which meant there were a lot of weight slips in there. Which meant we were getting paid a sizable amount. I fell to my knees right there in the kitchen and tears came to my eyes. Not even three hours after I prayed that halfhearted, feeble prayer, God answered. I am so not worthy. Not even to kiss the sandals on His feet.
God doesn't always answer in as swift a manner. But He is certainly able. So why am I surprised when He does? Do I not believe He hears me the first time I ask? And when He takes longer to answer, does that mean He doesn't care as much, or isn't listening? Absolutely not. All I can say is God is Sovereign. He is all-knowing. Sometimes it takes longer to have our prayers answered because we need to grow in faith. Or there is something that we need to get right in our relationship with God that is hindering a move of God in our lives. And sometimes God likes to show off, and knock our socks off. He likes to remind us Who He is. And I am so thankful that I belong to Him. I just wanted to share this little testimony. No matter what you may be waiting on God for, don't ever doubt that He doesn't love you, that He isn't listening, and that He won't move on your behalf. He will. Because He said so.

A Year Older

2011-08-06T11:16:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, August 5th, was my baby's FIRST birthday! I can't believe how fast this year has gone. I can still remember a lot of the details of his birth. I even made steak for lunch yesterday, and as I was getting lunch remembered, that after I had Landon, my husband's mom sent lunch up for us, and it was steak! Anyway, here is a little parade of pictures of Huckleberry through this first year of his life.....

Last evening we had a little birthday party for Huckleberry with the family......

We started singing Happy Birthday to him, and he didn't seem to sure.

I thought he might actually start to cry!

Tentatively taking his first bite....

All the girl cousins eating together!

I think he's happy it's his birthday!

Now he's startng to loosen up...

Enjoying getting his picture taken

What a ham!

In other news, Strawberry Shortcake has now lost her front top tooth! Daddy pulled it out with pliers this morning. That is her preferred method of extraction! Yes, life can get some what crazy around here!

Hope you all have a great weekend!

Whimsical Wednesday....

2011-07-20T13:51:00.000-07:00

A Daybook.....

For today, Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Outside my window....I see a hammock under a tree, leaves blowing in the breeze, and big billowy white clouds.
I am thinking....I wish it would rain. I would like to go for a run. It's soon quiet time for the kids.
I am thankful for....health, strength, a husband committed to his family, girls who sing while coloring, a baby who always finds me when I am vacuuming, so he can play with it.
From the learning room.....it's always amazing to listen to and watch my girls read.
From the kitchen....I'd really like to learn to make a good sandwich bread. Nothing to heavy, but just right for sandwiches.
I am reading....Captivating by Stasi Eldredge and Educating the Wholehearted Child by Clark and Sally Clarkson
I am hoping....that we will be able to make some decisions soon that need to be made (could I be any more vague?!) , and that our crops make a good yield this year. That our children will have truly grateful hearts and desire to bless others with their own blessings.
I am hearing....my girls singing as they color, my washing machine in the spin cycle, the distant grumble of thunder
Around the house....I need to finish the laundry, wash my kitchen floor, light a candle
One of my favorite things....the stillness of the house during "quiet time", the satisfaction of a good nap after playing hard
A few plans for the rest of the week.....get caught up on housework, maybe bake some things to freeze, in anticipation of vacation bible school next week
Here is a picture thought I am sharing.....

God is faithful. All the time. Anywhere. Whenever I see a rainbow, I am always reminded of that eternal truth.

What I am reading.....

2011-07-15T14:25:00.000-07:00

What am I reading? Not a whole lot! I have found that during this season of my life, with a bunch of littles running amok, I don't always have a lot of time for reading. Most reading I do is children books, or the short magazine article. I am reading a daily Bible reading plan, which I am amazed that I have stuck with it. Unfortunately, I don't always have follow through in that area.
But, I do have two books that I have been squeezing in during "quiet times" or after the kids go to bed. I am reading, "Anne of Ingleside" by L.M. Montgomery. I love her books. I read through the Anne series faithfully almost every year. This is actually my second time reading this particular book this year. I love to read this book when I am feeling frustrated with parenting. Not at my children, but frustrated with myself. I just read this book and realize that I take myself too seriously sometimes and that laughing is allowed. Not only allowed, but MUST happen. One of my favorite lines in the book is from Susan, the housekeeper, "Some folks think they (babies) are luxuries,' I said, 'but at Ingleside we think they are necessities.'" It just makes me smile.
The other book I am reading is called, "Educating the Wholehearted Child" by Clay Clarkson with Sally Clarkson. I am really enjoying this book. Some of my favorite quotes, regarding books...
"Give us a house furnished with books rather than furniture! Both, if you can, but books at any rate!" by Henry Ward Beecher
"To be a genuine lover of books no house is completely furnished which has not a good many of them, not arranged formally in one room, but scattered all over the house." Margaret E. Sangster
"Books are delightful society. If you go into a room and find it full of books-even without taking them from the shelves they seem to speak to you, to bid you welcome." William Gladstone
"Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers." Charles W. Eliot
Shelves of books just make me happy. Especially old books. Old hardback books, that have been well-loved. Dog-eared pages. It just makes me happy.
This book encourages home-teaching according to the Charlotte Mason theory, which has captivated my attention since first hearing about her. She believed in teaching children from "living books". Whole books. Great literature. So this year for homeschooling, I am taking a step off the edge and trying a free curriculum called Ambleside online. They give you a book list and week by week what you should be teaching, and you do your thing. You can buy the books or get them from your public library. But they are whole books, not textbooks. So I have been having fun getting my packages from Amazon the last few weeks. I want to have a good private library for our children, especially since the public library isn't very close for us to use frequently and is pretty small. Plus, trying school this way has cut my curriculum bill in half. Which is amazing.
I am hoping to instill a love of reading in my children so that in the future that is what they will turn to for entertainment rather then the television or computer.
What are you reading????

What we've been up to.....

2011-07-11T20:11:00.000-07:00

I can't believe we are almost halfway through July.....really? Where is the time going? It feels as though we've been going and going these last couple of weeks. But barley is harvested. And the barley straw is baled. And the straw is stacked and tarped. Yay!!!!

This is one of the enormous stacks of barley straw that we tarped on Saturday night. There is something magical that happens when you are up against the clock, in our case, a major storm coming our way, and everything and everyone works together. We were able to get two stacks of straw tarped before it got dark, and the storm actually went around us and didn't get us drenched! We were pretty thankful!

Straw bales in the field, needing to be stacked. There were lots of these. The guys worked so hard!

This is the view of the bins from our house. It's about three to four miles away. You can see pretty far out here!

It is monsoon season here now. We don't consider it officially monsoon until around the 4th of July. This is the time of year when we get some more humidity in the air and some amazing clouds during the day! It is so cool to watch the storms build over the mountains. We got half an inch a couple weeks ago, but before that, it had been a good seven or eight months since we got any rain. Any. We didn't get any winter moisture this past year, which is unusual. We desperately need a good monsoon.

In other news, if anyone has heard about a raspberry shortage in Arizona, it is due to this little guy. He is known for downing a whole container himself. In five minutes. Flat.

He's pretty cute, so we cut him some slack around here.

Huckleberry Pie will be turning one in about three weeks now. Sigh. My baby is growing up. He pulls himself up on anything and everything. He is trying to talk. He crawls faster then the speed of light. You think it's safe to open the fridge and boom! There he is, getting smacked in the head with the door. Not that I've ever done that or anything!

And finally, this is the sunrise this past Sunday morning. I was up around five, amazingly, and was quick enough to catch a couple pictures of the sun rising over the mountains. Breathtaking. Thanks for stopping by!

And the winner is.....

2011-06-27T07:05:00.000-07:00

Hey ladies and gentleman....thanks so much for playing! I wish I could give away a sign to everyone...maybe someday, but I did pick TWO winners instead of just one! And they are......

1 and 18

So, Rachel and Candice, I will email you and give you my sister's email address so you can tell her directly what you would like your personalized sign to say. Congratulations! To everyone else, if you liked what you saw on my sister's blog, you may order from her directly. Maybe next time I will do a giveaway of one of her chalkboards, they are so cute!

Thanks for playing everyone, and I hope you have a blessed week!

Partnering up

2011-06-21T16:48:00.000-07:00

Hey there, like I mentioned before, in honor of my 100th post, I am going to have another giveaway, and my sister, Alyssa, has graciously agreed to help me out. In case you forget, or don't know, my sister, Alyssa, came out with us after our visit to PA and stayed with us for three glorious months. It was so nice to have her here and the extra hand was A-MAZ-ING! Since going home, she has immersed herself into all kinds of fun projects. Projects I wish I had the time to do. You can check it out here...www.alyssabethphotography.blogspot.com
So, the giveaway will be a custom made sign. And it can have up to three words on it. I was thinking up all of kinds of possibilities....
MARKET
PANTRY
WELCOME
MUDROOM
FAITH, HOPE, LOVE
PEACE ON EARTH
FRESH EGGS
GATHERING ROOM
SANCTUARY
COFFEE
and the list could go on and on. If you are the winner, you can pick what your sign says, up to three words!! How fun is that? And I will pay for it! The wood will look similiar to the one she did on her website with the word Market on it. The font will be up to her.
Now for the fun part, if you would like to win, just a leave a comment below. And to make it more interesting, you may leave a new comment every day. I will leave it open until Sunday evening, and announce the winner Monday morning!! So you will have six chances to leave a comment, thus increasing your chances of winning!!! Good luck!

Father's Day

2011-06-19T09:04:00.000-07:00

Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there, whether you are a father of biological children, adoptive children, or spiritual children, you ARE a blessing! I was looking through a poetry book this morning and found this poem and wanted to share it here. This is special to me because I grew up being a farmer's daughter. I married a farmer. And my father-in-law is a farmer. You could say farming is a natural way of life around here. It's hard work, but is also rewarding. To take dirt and make something grow out of it. So this is for my dad, my dad in law and my own man, Happy Father's Day!!

FATHER

by Frances Frost

My father's face is brown with sun,

His body is tall and limber.

His hands are gentlewith beast or child

And strong as hardwood timber.

My father's eyes are the colors of sky,

Clear blue or gray as rain:

They change with the swinging change of days

While he watches the weather vane.

That galleon, golden upon our barn,

Veers with the world's four winds.

My father, his eyes on the vane, knows when

To fill our barley bins,

To stack our wood and pile our mows

With redtop and sweet tossed clover.

He captains our farm that rides the winds,

A keen-eyed brown earth-lover.

How we beat the heat

2011-06-18T14:30:00.000-07:00

It is really starting to get hot around here. We had a cooler then normal spring, but summer is here! We are in the high 90s and it is so very dry. We are looking forward to monsoon season. And we are definitely praying for a good one. We need the rain. Everywhere. But especially where the wildfires are. The kids and I took a fun trip to Walmart the other day and picked up a pool. This is how the kids stay cool....

Sisters playing with their mermaids.

I had so much fun picking out a BOY swimsuit. First time. Ever! And don't you love Huckleberry Pie's rolls? I just want to squeeze them!!

Gingersnap playing with her mermaid

Huck was the last out of the pool. He had so much fun, purple lips and all!

Having a giveaway is so much fun, that I have decided to do it again. My next post will be number 100! In celebration of that fact, I am going to have another giveaway. But I am partnering with my sister. I am going to give away something from her! Here is the link to her blog so you can have a glimpse of the stuff she's been working on.....www.alyssabethphotography.blogspot.com
She has some super cool stuff over there! Hope you are off to a great summer!

And the winner is....

2011-06-14T06:29:00.000-07:00

Hey ladies, I have a winner! I went to randon.org last night and put in my numbers, and it spit out the number 4! So, looks as though you will get to try wearing an apron instead of wiping your hands on your jeans!!! I must confess, as much as I love aprons, I don't always remember to put one on before I start working in the kitchen!!!
Joyful potter, just email me or facebook message me your address and I will mail it out to you tomorrow!! Thanks for playing ladies! Hope you have a great day!

new names

2011-06-11T13:37:00.000-07:00

So, I've been thinking about this for a while and finally came up with a solution. There are a few blogs that I read that give their kids names. And I thought it was so cute, but couldn't think of any for mine, that went well together. Then I was driving home from Wal-mart today and had a brilliant idea.....

Meet my code names....

Gingersnap...full of spice

Strawberry Shortcake, the girl who started it all

Angel Cake.....don't let the name fool you! Just kidding....

Huckleberry Pie. Huck for short.

Now if I can just come up with a super cool moniker for my husband. Any suggestions?

And about the giveaway, I would love to send it to one of my international readers. Please don't leave a comment because you aren't in the United States. As long as there is no reason why mail from here can't get sent to where you are, I will gladly send it. You have until the end of the day Monday, and I will post the winner either late Monday night or Tuesday morning.

Has it already been three weeks?

2011-06-10T16:24:00.000-07:00

Has it already been three weeks since I last posted? And that last post was sharing a video, not any thought provoking, mind blowing, epiphany....oh, wait, we are talking about me. That doesn't happen too often anyway! After this week, I am lucky to still remember my name.
I wanted to share some pictures of our weekend trip. Me, the four kids, and my brave mother-in-law, ventured up to Page, Arizona, to visit my sister in law, husband and their four kids. Our kids are born close to each other, and so everyone has a playmate almost the same age. The kids had so much fun. Here are some photos......

Alaina & Jennah playing with sidewalk paint. I have seen it in the stores but have never seen it in action. It's pretty neat stuff.

Kailey riding her bike

Kailey, Devin, & Larissa

Landon, doing one of his favorite things....

Ella

My big boy. He is now ten months old (sniff, sniff) He's graduated from taking a bath in the kitchen sink to the bathtub. Where does the time go?

We celebrated Kailey's birthday. My sister in law is so cool and baked individual cakes for the kids to decorate.

Larissa

Alaina

Jennah

Devin

Charlotte....doesn't she look like she's doing an advertisement?

Pinata time!

Swing batter, batter!

My girls have always been afraid to do this, so it was nice to see them cut loose and try it

grabbing the spoils

and the kit kats and reeses pieces all belong to "Aunt Laura!"

I had to run into Willcox the other day and decided to stop in at the Rustic Rooster. I haven't been in there since I decorated Landon's room. About a year. I figured I was due a visit. Well, she has some super cute aprons in there. I picked this one up. I thought it was adorable. And I am thinking I might give it away! If you would be interested in winning this apron, please leave a comment. I will then take the total number of comments and go to the random number website thing (?) and have them pick a number. But you have to leave a comment on the blog. Facebook doesn't count. Isn't it cute?

This is a close up of the pocket. It's sideways. I guess blogger couldn't tell which way it should go. I thought it was cute and vintagy. I will pick the winner on Monday. Good luck! And have a great weekend!

Beautiful

2011-05-18T15:08:00.000-07:00

We sang this song in church this past Sunday. We have sung it before, but this past Sunday was one of those moments where we (the church) was singing in unity. And it was amazing. Like where you feel like you are just going to jump out of your skin. Especially when we sang the last verse, "arriving on eternity's shore, where death is just a memory and tears are no more." I just wanted to share it here.....

Seasons

2011-05-13T15:06:00.000-07:00

I find as a mother and a wife, I go through seasons. Right now, I feel like I am in the desert. Actually, I am in the desert. Literally. But that's neither here nor there. I mean an emotional and spiritual desert. My days feel long and unending. I imagine most moms of "littles" feel that way at one time or another. My son is up at daybreak, and I do get in an early morning feeding, just me and him, I get to read my daily bible reading for the day (I am reading the bible in a year. First time I ever did that.), and I usually get my first cup of coffee before the rest are up. Most times than not, I don't get to finish my coffee, but you can bet that someone finishes it for me. And it's not an adult. Anyway.....then I feel like the rest of my day is feeding kids, changing kids, cleaning, cooking, teaching, laundry, cleaning, refereeing, wiping, and so on. I start to get tired. I start to get irritated. I start to feel frustrated. Even angry sometimes. I wonder when I will ever get time to myself. Poor, pitiful me. But I forget to go back to the One who can replenish my soul. Who is my Reservoir. It's hard to remember that as we give and pour out, so we also need to go back and get refilled. Refreshed. If we don't take those times we can become angry, depressed, among a multitude of other emotions. I find that I need to broaden my idea of refreshing. It could be an uninterrupted hour, but it might also only be 10 minutes. Learning to be content in all things is very hard. At least for me. I feel like my brain doesn't ever slow down. And in this age of technology and where multitasking is looked upon as productive, it's hard to feel all right about stopping. Breathing. Being still. I find I will sit at the computer, with the television on, trying to do both. I will read a magazine and watch television. I find it's getting hard for me to just focus on one thing. Makes it difficult to focus on One Person. Know what I mean? God is dealing with me.
My youngest sister is in YWAM, and right now is in Kosovo. She sent me an email earlier this week, and here is what part of it said, "experience the seasons.... seasons of when Nate is busy, when school is in session, etc - but i want to encourage you that there are also seasons with the Lord. despite busyness and schedules he is near!" As I read that, the tears fell. Sometimes God leads us into the desert to call us to Him.

"Therefore I am now going to allure; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her." Hosea 2:14

Mother

2011-05-06T21:03:00.000-07:00

This Sunday is Mother's Day. Out of curiosity, I looked up Mother in my 1828 Noah Webster dictionary. I figured there would be some good definitions of the word, and I was not disappointed. One of my favorite's is this: "madre, mother, cause, origin, root, spring, a mold or form for castings..." The terminology mold or form for castings caught my eye. I never really thought of myself as a mold for my children, but there is alot of truth in that. I am helping to mold my children for their future, molding their habits, their beliefs, their faith. Kind of convicting, isn't?
I must confess that I didn't appreciate all that my mother has done for me until I became one. The sacrificing, putting aside your own wants, the exhaustion, the doubting, and on and on it goes. But my mom has been there alongside of me on this journey called motherhood, offering her advice, encouragement and support. Which some days, I just need to hook up to an IV...a continuous flow, you know what I mean?
Living so far away from my mom has few advantages, but one advantage is that when I have a baby, my mom comes and LIVES with me. For ten days. Give or take how late my babies decide to come. Now, if I lived in Pennsylvania, she would stop by the house, but since she has to fly to Arizona, I get in house help for at least ten blissful days. There are no words to describe how much I appreciate that. Thank you Mom!!!

my mom with Landon shortly after he was born

Another definition is "an appellation given to a woman who exercises care and tenderness towards another, or gives parental advice; as when one says, "a woman has been a mother to me." During different seasons of my life, the Lord has put women in my life who fit this description. During high school, my best friend's mother, Linda, was like a second mom to me. I was constantly in and out of her house, visiting, eating her food, and staying up all hours of the night watching movies and talking. She and I continued to meet for lunch after Renee moved out to California and got married. It will be six years this October since she went home to Jesus. There was Marianne. I spent lots of time at her house and even worked for her for a while. I fondly remember sitting at her kitchen table talking.
When I went off to college, there was Betty Ann. She always made time for me, and some of the best memories I have of her are sitting at her counter, coffee in hand, just chatting away. And now I have my mother in law, Cecelia. She is one of the most generous, kind and loving people I know. I love how God has His ways of taking care of me, no matter where I am in life.
And lastly, I just had to throw out that another definition of the word mother is, "a thick slimy substance concreted in liquors, particularly in vinegar, very different from scum or common lees." When I read that, I laughed. Out loud.
And so, I just wanted to wish all the mothers out there, whether you are raising little ones, expecting your first one, empty nester, or perhaps raising "spiritual" children,

Happy Mother's Day!

Larissa Janae

2011-04-27T21:01:00.000-07:00

Hard to believe our firstborn is turning SEVEN! I can still vividly remember the night she was born.....I guess I haven't lost all my brain cells yet! Larissa has one of the tenderest hearts. If someone is hurting or not feeling well, she is right there, nursing them back to health, or giving them a hug and a kiss. She enjoys going for walks, seeing nature, playing dress up, and helping me with her baby brother.

I am so excited to see what God has in store for this girl. She feels and loves very deeply, and has been an intrical part of our family, and we love her so very much.
Happy Birthday Larissa!

It is finished

2011-04-22T14:20:00.000-07:00

"When he had received the drink, Jesus said, 'It is finished'." John 20:30

Four years old

2011-04-08T11:48:00.000-07:00

CHARLOTTE ELIZABETH

AKA

Char

Charlottie

Charlotta

Lottie

Charlay(I refrain from spelling it the way of the cow charcolais, because what girl wants to be called a cow?)

A girl with a LONG name, and LONG on personality....

Scrolling through theses pictures taken in the last year, make my heart sad. My baby girl is growing up! And what a delight she has been to our family.

HaPpY BiRtHdAy ChArLoTtE!

8 Months of Sweetness

2011-04-05T20:37:00.000-07:00

Today our baby boy turned eight months old....

As you can see, he gets lots of lovin' around these parts

He has also started crawling in the last week. The girls are learning the hard way that if they don't want to play with toys or read books drenched in baby drool, they need to pick up their stuff. And I ain't complainin' about that!

Love him!

Spring pictures

2011-04-02T08:54:00.000-07:00

While my sister was here (notice the past tense.....sigh), we had a little mini photo shoot with the kiddos. Here are a few of the pictures....

As you can tell, we had one who was being a bit standoffish....until I bribed the said culprit with some chocolate. I speak her language.

My baby girl, Charlotte, who, by the way, will be four next week!

My oldest, Larissa, who will be turning seven at the end of the month. Looking back at these photos, made me realize how much she is growing up into a young girl....

My middle girl, Alaina, who is five. The sun really bothers her eyes, so that's why she is squinting in some of the pictures. My super imaginative one..

And the baby of the house, little Landon Ray. He will be eight months next week. And he is officially on the move. Much to his sisters chagrin! And my delight.....(I've been warning them!!)

Typical Charlotte....need I say more?

"Get me away from all these girls, mom!!"

I love twirly skirts and cowboy boots...

Sisters...best friends

I just love to squeeze him......
These are just a few of the pictures my sister got of the kids. She does such a great job. And is very patient, which when dealing with kids, is an absolute must. Alyssa and my brother left for their LONG drive back to Pennsylvania last Monday. It's 36 hours. A.long.time. An e t e r n i t y with children. Not really, but you get the picture.
So this week I have been finding a new routine. And realizing just how much help she had been to me. I've been falling into bed every night totally exhausted. And missing the company during the day. One of the most challenging things is to find a new order of doing things for school. With my sister here, it was easy peasy. She worked with one and I worked with the other. Now I am trying to figure out how to juggle two at the same time. It will come together. Sometime. Until then, I just keep truckin' along!

Growin' and Greenin' up

2011-03-19T11:19:00.000-07:00

Just thought I'd share some pictures of how things are growing around here. I love spring. It doesn't last very long here in the desert. I love watching the ground wake up after winter. We had a pretty cold winter, and a very dry winter.
The guys finished planting barley and oats a couple of weeks ago, and now things are starting to turn green.

Theses pictures are of the barley fields near our house. Aren't the mountains awesome in the background?

Our peach trees are loaded with blooms this year. Hopefully we'll get some peaches!

Our trees are starting to leaf out and our grass is starting to grow! I can push our hammock back under here and enjoy the shade and breeze for a little while before it gets really hot.

And here is one of my rosebushes, starting to leaf out. I can't wait for roses and their sweet smells. I am looking forward to watching the crops grow from our porch, and smelling the alfalfa after it's cut and baled. That's what's growing around here!

Field Trip

2011-03-12T08:44:00.000-08:00

Last Tuesday we took the girls to the Children's Museum in Tucson. It was a first time experience for all of us. I think the girls liked it....

Look out, Charlotte the Cop is on the prowl...

with her trusty sidekick, Larissa, who will blind you with her smile, while Charlotte is snapping handcuffs on you!

The firetruck was lots of fun.

All of our little firefighters

Landon had some fun in the rainforest room. It was especially for little ones.

Aunt Lys and Landon

Alaina checking out some animal X-rays in the vet's office

Our non-animal lover really enjoyed the vet room

And of course, the doctor's office! They loved taking care of some babies!

And finally, Alaina warmed up enough to hop onto the motorcycle!

There were lots of other rooms as well. The girls liked the sea room, the music room, and the dinosaurs. The dinosaurs were neat because they would move. When we first went in, the girls were afraid, but then begged to go back and see them again. Fun field trip.....

Seven Months and a First

2011-03-05T07:23:00.000-08:00

Today, March 5, 2011, our baby turns 7 months old. How quickly the time goes!

In other related news, Landon experienced his FIRST oreo cookie yesterday.......

and I think he LOVED it.....

Can't wait to see what he does with his first birthday cake!

Snow in the desert

2011-03-03T06:28:00.000-08:00

Sunday morning I woke up, as usual, around 6:30 a.m. Landon was up, so I got him and crawled back into bed to feed him because I hadn't been feeling well. I heard the girls get up and run down the hall into the kitchen. They ran back the hall into our room, burst through the door and gleefully shouted, "It's snowing! It's snowing!" Nate drew back the curtain, and sure enough, it was snowing in the desert!

Of course, out here, most snowfall is gone by lunchtime. This day was no different. But it was fun to stand at the kitchen sink and look out the window at the falling snowflakes. And the girls enjoyed the brief time they could run outside and catch snowflakes on their tongues!

A Praise

2011-02-17T13:05:00.000-08:00

    About four and a half weeks ago, we were down at my in-laws, spending the day together. We had just gotten home a week or two before from our trip to Pennsylvania, and the kids wanted to spend some time with Grandpa and Grandma. Towards evening, the guys came in from work to eat supper. They had been welding all day. Nate sat down to eat some pizza. After he finished eating, he suddenly got a headache and started feeling really bad. In fact, so bad that I had to drive him home. He had to walk real slow and felt very dizzy. My sister drove my vehicle home.     We get home, and Nate goes back to take a shower. He ends up getting very sick. He threw up a few times and just kept saying how the room was spinning. This lasted for a few days. I had a suspicion he had vertigo and looked it up and sure enough, all his symptoms matched. He called and got an appointment with the doctor.
    We went into the doctor and got a prescription which was to help with the dizziness. Over the weekend, Nate slowly started to feel better. He was in the house a whole week before he felt well enough to venture outside and check any fields. The world had stopped spinning, but he still couldn't turn his head quickly from side to side. For any of you who know my husband, it was very hard for him to be down that long. There is ground to be worked and barley to be planted, so he was chomping at the bit to get back to work.
    Life went on for another two weeks or so. One a week ago, Tuesday, he was down at the shop, talking to our fertilizer rep when his vision went spotty. This last for about an hour. For fifteen minutes of this hour, he also had difficulty speaking. In his mind, he knew exactly what he wanted to say, but when he would try to verbalize it, something different would come out. This, of course, greatly concerned us, so he called the doctor again, and the doctor told Nate that he was going to request an MRI to be done.
   At the thought of having an MRI done, my thoughts when to all kinds of places. The doctor had told Nate that he would be looking for lesions or aneurysms. When I heard the "A" word, I felt very worried. They kill people suddenly, without warning. When we went to bed that night, I asked Nate if he was worried, and he said no. Then he asked me if I was worried and I said yes.
   I think it's human nature to have your mind go over all the possibilities. Especially the potential of raising your four young children alone. And I must confess, I have a VERY overactive imagination to begin with. So, on my drive over to Sierra Vista on Wednesday to pick up the request for the MRI, I had it out with myself.
   One thing I have learned is that we have to take every thought captive. By allowing my thoughts to run wild, I was giving in to fear. But God has said that He hasn't given us a spirit of fear. I needed to say out loud, "No matter what happens, I WILL TRUST YOU." And I said it out loud. A lot.
    I picked up the paperwork and ran over to the clinic to schedule Nate's MRI for Friday. That was last Friday, at 3:30. He and I, and Landon went for the appointment. It lasted about 45 minutes. Because it was so late in the day, the doctor said the results probably wouldn't be faxed over to our doctor until Monday morning.
    The body of Christ is an amazing thing. We had so many people praying for us. It was awesome. In our Sunday morning service, we had a special time of prayer and some of the elders and deacons prayed for Nate. And a sweet lady, who has had her own share of trials and tribulations health wise, came over to pray with me. While she prayed for me, the one thing I heard her say a few times was, "Oh that we would be careful to praise you." Yes, we need to praise God when times are good, when they are falling apart, even when we don't know the next step. We must always have an attitude of praise and thankfulness.
    Monday went by and by 4:30 that afternoon we still hadn't heard anything. Nate and I had figured that if we didn't hear anything first thing, there must not be anything too serious going on. So I called the office late that afternoon and talked to a nurse. She said Nate's MRI came back normal. I felt an immediate sense of relief. She said that what Nate has is called vestibular migraines. We needed to schedule a follow up appointment to discuss what that is and what can be done about it.
    So, that is where we are. I feel incredibly humbled and blessed by God's faithfulness and love. I felt His love so much through our friends and family, and their prayers, emails, texts and phone calls. I know there are many who hope for a good report and, instead, are given a much different one. But that doesn't mean that God isn't faithful or loving. He supplies us for each day, whatever comes our way. He will never leave or forsake us. His mercies are new every morning. And He will give us the strength to make it through.

I love this girl

2011-02-11T19:43:00.000-08:00

I love this girl. In case you don't know, this girl is my sister. She so graciously came back with us after Christmas, and has been staying with us, helping me out. Which, some days, I need a lot of help! Lord, have mercy! And I know this is no easy thing for her to do. She has great friends back in Pennsylvania, a life where everything is just fifteen minutes away, not thirty, or forty, or sixty, you get the picture.
   She spends a lot of time washing my dishes. If you've read any earlier posts, you will know that I don't have a dishwasher. Yet. But I am on a mission to run for one. Which, by the way, I accomplished my goal last Saturday. Problem is, I haven't been running since! I am going to try and remedy that tomorrow.
Anyway, she washes lots of dishes. And vacuums, and plays never ending games of Uno and Memory. And helps rebellious nieces learn letters, write letters, and learn to read. And is company to a mom who some days feels like she is going to lose her mind!
   I know when she reads this post she is going to feel embarrassed, (because she's humble like that. In everything. Even the amazing pictures she takes, which, by the way, you can see here) but I just had to publicly state how much I appreciate her giving nature, and the fact that she was willing to give up a couple months of her time, to help a sister out. I.Love.Her.
And, in case my baby sister is feeling left out, I love her too. She's in Hawaii right now, learning all kinds of new and exciting things, preparing for a missions trip to Kosovo and Pakistan. (I always want to say Afghanistan, and then people look at me like I am crazy, and I realize I said the wrong country. But they are neighbors. And Afghanistan needs Jesus just as much as Pakistan. But it's Pakistan). And just in the way off chance my brother is reading this post, I love him too. There. That's a lot of sibling love going on.
   I will close this rambling post now. Goodbye.

The Source of Love

2011-02-08T11:29:00.000-08:00

Week Three of the bible study I am doing was on the Source of Love. The first question dealt with God's love and how we can receive it. One thing that stuck out to me was the Scripture in I John 4:7-16. In those verses it states that Love is not that WE love God, but that HE loves us, and that because HE loved us, HE sent His Son to die for us. Pretty humbling, isn't it?
Another question asked how God empowers us in learning how to love. A scripture in Philippians 2:13 says that God will put the desire to love in our hearts for us to act on. And in I Thessalonians 3: 12-13 it says that God will make our love increase and overflow to and for others. He will strengthen our hearts. That is such a comforting thought, because sometimes people are hard to love. Especially when you are on the receiving end of hurt time and time again.
The fifth question dealt with studying Scriptures that tell us how we are to grow in love. In John 14: 21-24, it says that if we obey God, we love God. But if we disobey God, we don't love Him. That felt very convicting to me. I might be quick to require instant obedience from my children, but I am not always quick to obey my Heavenly Father when He asks me to take time out of my schedule to do something for Him. And by being slow to respond, I am being disobedient, and in essence, saying I don't love God. Ouch!
I John 5: 1-3 also talks about how God's commands aren't burdensome. That really struck me. His commands are not burdensome. So when I start to feel overwhelmed and weighed down, it isn't the Lord. It's me, trying to act in my own strength. I am so thankful that God's yoke is easy and His burden is light.
Our memory work for week three was: I John 4: 9-11

"This is how God showed His love among us; He sent His One and only Son into the world that we might live through Him. This is Love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another."
I don't know about you, but I want to love well. A lot of days it's hard. Especially when you have sick ones, a teething baby, kids who are determined to stretch you day in and day out, death, money problems, marital problems, but God promises us that His commands are not burdensome. He will carry us. He will put His love in our hearts. We can only change the world by loving others with the love He has given us. Sacrificial love.

Six Months

2011-02-05T17:09:00.000-08:00

Somebody is turning SIX months old today!

Hard to believe six months ago today, Landon came into this world. It's hard to remember what life was like before he was here. He is growing like a weed and we just love having him!

Homemaking Link up

2011-02-02T05:34:00.000-08:00

I am linking up over here today....check it out for some new ideas, inspiration, or encouragement!

A new year....

2011-01-25T06:49:00.000-08:00

I have been wanting to do a New Year's post, and here it is the end of January! We are already a month in! Where does the time go? But it does feel as though I have been busy. I've never been big on New Year resolutions, because somewhere between January and March, all my motivation has disappeared, but I do have a few things I want to do differently this year....
1. My pastor's wife challenged our church to read the bible through in a year. I have never done this before, so this is something I am trying to do this year. I find doing this first thing in the morning is best. But I have had to read multiple days to catch up already!
2. I have always wanted to run 5 miles without stopping. With Alyssa here, there is no reason why I can't because I can go for a run in the afternoon when the kids are down. I have added the incentive of getting a dishwasher when I've completed my goal. My husband hasn't actually agreed with this incentive, but a girl can be hopeful, right?
3. I want to be more faithful in prayer. Especially praying for family and friends in my life, and for believers around the world. It's easy to become lost in your own bubble, and forget that there are a lot of suffering believers in all parts of the world. I know this is becoming more real to me because my youngest sister is now a part of YWAM and will be headed to Kosovo and Pakistan for April, May and part of June. You can check out her adventures here, http://ashleanoelle.tumblr.com/
4. Something else I have been doing the last few years is picking out a verse from the Bible to pray over my family. Two years ago the verse was, Psalm 65: 9-13, "You care for the land and water it; you enrich it abundantly. the streams of God are filled with water to provide the people with grain, for so you have ordained it. You drench its furrows and level its ridges; you soften it with showers and bless its crops. You crown the year with your bounty, and your carts overflow with abundance. The grasslands of the desert overflow; the hills are clothed with gladness. The meadows are covered with flocks and the valleys are mantled with grain; they shout for joy and sing." I was reading through Proverbs the other day when these verses jumped out at me, Proverbs 3:9,10: "Honor the LORD with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops; then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine."
A challenging prayer, but I want to be up for the challenge.
5. I want to love my family better. Having children was a wake up call to how selfish I can be. When you suddenly have a crew of "littles" clamoring for your attention, needing a diaper to be changed, a drink, a snack, to play a game, to tattle on a sibling, you can see your sense of entitlement coming out. I know I have. And that is something I need to work on. And I also want to raise unselfish children. I have been noticing some behaviors that need to be addressed, and I am praying for the wisdom to know how to handle them!
And I also want to love my husband better. Once the kids are in bed it's so easy to turn on the TV and zone out, stay up way too late watching NOTHING and then go to bed. We could have talked about what's going on with the farm, how he's feeling about this year, about our children and character issues, about our dreams for the future. Communication is so important.
These are a few of the things I want to do better this year. Some of them the results might not be seen until years from now, but I want to start sowing the seed now and hopefully reap a harvest in the years to come!

The Greatest of These....

2011-01-22T06:46:00.000-08:00

"Three things will last forever--faith, hope and love--and the greatest of these is love." I Corinthians 13:13

I am doing a bible study with a group of ladies in the town where we live. Last Wednesday was our first day. We break up into small groups and go over the questions and our answers. Our small groups range in age, which I really enjoy, I like to listen to ones older then me, who have already waded through the younger married years, have raised their children, and gone through a lot of the things I am now experiencing. I like to try and glean as much wisdom as I can from these women.
We are doing the study, "Becoming a Woman Who Loves", by Cynthia Heald. I have never done a bible study by her before, so this new for me. We are doing one chapter a week, and the work is not overwhelming, but very manageable, especially with how busy I feel with four little ones underfoot right now, and homeschooling!
I wanted to share a little of what we talked about last week. One of my favorite things from the week, was the definition of agape love. In the Greek language agape love is defined as,
"a love that is based on the deliberate choice of the one who loves rather than the worthiness of the one who is loved."
I just love that. I have known what agape love means, but for some reason, that definition jumped out at me. I don't know if it's because right now, at this stage of my life, I am being stretched and tried in this area more then ever. Being a parent, you are constantly being confronted with loving your children with an agape love. At least it feels like I am. I am to be training my children to walk with God, to know God, to love God, and to love others. Teaching them to be unselfish in a selfish, absorbed world. That alone can feel pretty much impossible. I am constantly having to redirect, reteach, and discipline. And I must always show them love, not because they have earned it, have proven worthy of it, but because I have made a deliberate choice to love them regardless of their behavior. And when I think of all the times I have messed up, spoken in anger and frustration, withheld affection or love because I was still upset, how humbling and thankful I am that God does not do that to me. This is one area in which I need to work on.
The second quote she had in this first chapter is from C. S. Lewis, and I love it,
"God, who needs nothing, loves into existence wholly superfluous creatures in order that He may love and perfect them....If I may dare the biological image, God is a "host" who deliberately creates His own parasites; causes us to be that we may exploit and "take advantage of" Him. Herein is love. This is the diagram of Love Himself, the inventor of all loves."
I am a parasite. You are a parasite. We all are parasites. Not a very attractive or appealing description, is it? But it's true. And God wants us to exploit Him. A term usually viewed in the negative. But how can you negatively exploit agape love? A perfect love? You can't.
And lastly, while completing my questions, I was using my sister's Living Bible. It's neat to read a different translation from time to time. It gives verses that may be very familiar to you, a different taste. I was reading Colossians 3:14, and to summarize it basically said that if you let love guide your life, the whole church will stay together in harmony.
Isn't that awesome? If we would let agape love, sacrificial love, guide our lives, our churches would be in harmony. The whole church. Wouldn't that be nice? Wouldn't that be like a little slice of heaven on earth?
So that is my challenge right now, to make the deliberate choice to love regardless of the response, of those around me. Challenging thoughts for today, but think of all the lives that could be affected if we would each decide to love that radically in our small piece of earth......

Rebel

2011-01-14T15:06:00.000-08:00

I would like to interrupt your day with some breaking news....I am in the throes of a full scale rebellion.

Who me? Yes, me. I know I look innocent, and I am cute, and I use that to my full advantage.

You see, I am rebelling about my afternoon naps. As in, I am REFUSING to take them.

I need to go. I am planning my next stage of attack, in only I can stay awake long enough!

Five months old

2011-01-05T14:08:00.000-08:00

My baby is five months old today! The time is just flying by. Landon tried some rice cereal with mixed fruit this week. As you can see, he wasn't too sure about it!

But we kept trying, and the faces got a little better.....

And he is becoming such a big boy, sitting up in his high chair. It won't be long until he is sitting up all by himself....

I do want to post some pictures of our Christmas in Pennsylvania. It was quite the trip. The girls did great. Landon, on the other hand, had a difficult time in his car seat. Like, he really hates the seat. Always has. But til we made our trip back West, he was managing a little better. To help pass the time, the girls and I made up a song about Landon.

My name is Landon,

I have three sisters,

And I like

to eat

my hands

I would sing this every time I climbed back into the middle seat to feed Landon, much to the delight of Alaina, who would insist I sing it over and over again. And he still likes to eat his hands. And he has also learned to roll over.

Once life slows down a little, I do want to blog about some things that have been on my mind. Until then, I am just trying to keep up!

God with us

2010-12-20T05:18:00.000-08:00

This morning I sit here, already downed my cup of coffee, fire cracking in the wood stove, baby boy talking and bouncing in his seat, husband napping beside me, my brain a muddled mess as I think about last night and what happened a few short hours ago. And the phrase that keeps coming to mind is, "Emmanuel, God with us...."
Last night we put the kids to bed and went to bed pretty early ourselves last night. About 2:30 this morning, I heard a commotion (our kids), and Larissa had come up to where we were sleeping. We asked her what was wrong and she said Charlotte was sick and coughing and she was almost crying. I followed her back downstairs with some medicine I had brought with us on our trip. I got down to their room, and it was filled with smoke. I look at the foot of Larissa's bed, she was sleeping on the top bunk, and noticed that she must have been playing with the welcome light my mom had put in the window. Larissa had left it on her bed and must have fallen asleep. It was smoldering on the bed. I yelled for Nate and he quickly pulled the mattress out of the room, down the steps, and out the door. We opened the windows in their room and put a fan in there to blow the smoke out. It smelled so bad. I can totally understand the dangers of smoke inhalation. I felt like I couldn't breathe. We put an air mattress downstairs and we all slept in the living room. Once we got the girls settled, Nate and I couldn't go to sleep. Your mind goes to "what if" land and instantly I am conjuring up all these alternate endings. Not to mention my dad tells us to look outside, and we have a serious bonfire going on out where Nate tossed the mattress. To think that if that would have gotten just a little air, that mattress would have totally erupted into flames, with our baby girls inside.....tears fill up my eyes now, just thinking about it.
Emmanuel, God with us. The phrase just kept going through my mind. Like God was whispering it to me, to just remind me, He is always with us. In tragedy, in heartbreak, in triumph, in loneliness, in defeat, He is with us. I am just so thankful that the girls woke up. That smoke could have just been so strong, they never would have had a chance, and we could have had a blazing fire. I don't deserve God's mercy or grace, but I am so thankful for it. For a second chance, another opportunity. There are so many times in life where I can get so frustrated with myself, with my kids, with people, and then something like this happens, and it just brings the uncertainty of life and that there's no guarantee that you will get a tomorrow, that just brings home the meaning of living your life today as if it was your last. Loving on those kids, your spouse, your friends, your family, and treasuring and valuing that time, because it may be your last.
Emmanuel, God with us.

We made it!

2010-12-11T05:21:00.000-08:00

Yes, we finally made it into Pennsylvania! We left Monday around ten in the morning, and made it to the farm Thursday evening around 8p.m. What a trip! The kids did so well. The girls hardly ever complained. When we first started, Alaina, would sigh dramatically and declare, "We are NEVER going to get to Pennsylvania!" To which we would laugh and say we only just got started! It takes three days to get to PA! But after the first day she pretty much got over the sighing and declaring. We ran through no precip except for some slight misting in Oklahoma and southern Kansas. In case you are wondering, yes, we did take a slight detour. My husband has itchy feet and wanted to look at some land in OK and KS. We also made a pit stop in Hesston, KS, where I have some family. We usually stop there as a resting place. There's nothing like a great home cooked meal, a woodstove, good coffee, great conversation and a clean house. Staying in hotels can get old....and expensive! So we spent Tuesday evening and Wednesday until after lunch with Merv and Betty Ann. Two of my favorite people. I went to college at Hesston College and they became surrogate parents to me since I was so far from home. And now our kids are getting to know them and love them too.
Leaving Hesston we drove to Terre Haute, Indiana. We got a hotel there and spent the night. The three girls shared a queen sized bed and Larissa fell out around 3 a.m.! So funny. She just hopped right up and got back in bed and went back to sleep. When we got up the next morning it was only 10 or 11 degrees! And Thursday we drove the rest of the way.
There is one who did not fare so well on this trip. Landon does NOT, I repeat, does NOT like his carseat. Not even a little. So I will just sum it up to say, I am glad we will not be taking any LONG trips while we are in here. He has two weeks to forget his terrible experience, and then he'll get to do it again!
I would have taken some pictures of this adventure, but my camera was packed somewhere deep in the suburban and still hasn't surfaced! But I need to find it because today is the first of many family get togethers. Until later......

December Link Up

2010-11-30T17:07:00.000-08:00

Hey, it feels like it's been a while since I've written anything.I wish I had something really profound to write....but I don't! :) But I am linking up over here. Courtney is offering some really great ideas for keeping sight of the reason we celebrate Christmas. Check it out over here.....

Thankfulness

2010-11-23T06:36:00.000-08:00

I cannot believe this week is Thankgiving! Time has just flown by and the year is almost over. Soon we will be heading back to Pennsylvania, a long 36 hour trip. The kids are super excited, and I hope they stay that way as they watch mile after mile from their carseats! I woke up early this morning, thought it had been a while since I had blogged, and thought about blogging 30 things I am thankful for. I have a few friends who posted something new in their facebook status each day for the 30 days of November, but I never joined in. So, I thought I would do it here. 30 things I am thankful for, in no particular order, just as they come into my head.......
1. flannel sheets. Every year I look forward to putting them on my bed when it finally gets cold enough here. I don't want to get out of bed in the morning. Ever.
2. Smell of coffee percolating in the morning. I love getting up in the morning to the smell of fresh coffee brewing in the pot. And that first sip in the morning....yum!
3. my husband. Hard to believe it will be 8 years next week! The time has just flown by. He is one of the most hardworking men I know. He has dreams and ambition, and the motivation and will to get 'er done. Love him.
4. a sweet smelling baby, especially after a bath.
5. A particular little 5 year old who insists on recreating a "wipeout" obstacle course throughout our living room. No one is safe.
6. A mischievous 3 year old who has the best belly laugh, and loves to tease. Just like her dad. And grandpas. And great-grandpa. Her brown eyes still make me melt.
7. A 6 year old who is growing up so fast. Who still enjoys sitting close and snuggling, and enjoys working in the kitchen with me.
8. music. How quiet our house would be without music playing throughout. Pretty much all the time. I am not the only who likes music in the house. My oldest daughter loves to put cds in the player. And then I have ballerinas throughout the house.
9. running water. A couple years ago, our well went bad and I did not have water for two weeks. I had to go down to my mother in law's and fill up lots of gallon jugs of water to drink, wash dishes, and flush toilets. Yeah, not a lot of fun. But it made me appreciate the luxury of having water. Most people in our world today still don't have access to indoor plumbing. a very humbling thought when you let yourself think about it. Plus, I am just in awe of the women who came before me in settling this country. Those pioneer women were tough.
10. my brother and sisters. I am so thankful that my parents didn't stop having kids after me. From what I am told, I wasn't the easiest baby in the world, and my brave parents still went on and had 3 more kids after me. Being across the country, has made me appreciate the times I get to spend with them more. And they are seriously, some of the funniest people I know.
11. full moon. Out where I live, when it's full moon, you can see for miles. Seriously. There are no city lights nearby, actually, there's really nothing nearby (!), and the moon just lights up the sky. It's beautiful.
12. Campfires. I love sitting outside at the night with the kids and Nate, watching the fire, roasting marshmallows, and watching the girls impromptu performances for us. It usually includes singing, and some kind of story telling. Entertaining, every time.
13. Shooting stars. I never saw so many shooting stars until I moved out here. The morning Nate and I were out walking while I was in labor with Landon, at 3 a.m. we saw like 5-7 shooting stars. Amazing. God's creativity never ceases to amaze me.
14. My parents. I loved being brought up on a farm, where we had the freedom to play outside, roam the meadows and create forts and play in streams, go sledding down the big hill. Even feeding calves and bringing in the cows for milking and unloading hay, all taught us responsibility and working together. My mom comes out every time I have a baby and stays for two weeks, which is absolutely priceless! My dad still has his crazy sense of humor and can make me laugh until my stomach hurts. Literally. And they love being grandparents.
15. my fireplace. I am sitting in my living room right now, typing this, before my fireplace. It's electric, but it still flames like a real one. Love it.
16. Speaking of fireplaces, I love the woodstove at the farm. I love sitting downstairs by it, and hearing it crackle, or being outside and smelling the wood burning. It would get so warm downstairs that you could wear a tank top in December or January. Not that I ever did or anything.... And my dad would be sitting on the sofa, dozing off, because it was so warm!
17. Christmas trees. I love the smell of pine throughout the house. Especially coming home from church, after the house has been locked up for a few hours and you open the door, and instant pine, mountainy smell. Love it!
18. Crockpot. I love my crockpot. I use it lots. I am so thankful for a one meal machine, where it does all the work for me.
19. Snow. I don't get much snow out here in AZ, but just the purity and whiteness of snow. Reminds me of the verse in the Bible where it says we will be washed white as snow.
20. Friends. I have had some friends for over 20 years. That's amazing in itself, and those friendships mean so much to me. Even though we aren't physically close to each other, we can see each other and pick up right where we left off. That is pretty special.
21. Grace. I am so thankful for grace. And that God extends His grace to me, fresh every day. A new do-over every day.
22. my porch. My husband built the porch for me the year I had Charlotte, and it's one of the best things we've done to our house. We use it a lot during spring and summer, especially watching the monsoon storms coming across the valley. And it has a swing! My favorite.
23. Flowers. I can't really grow my favorite flowers out here because it gets so hot, but I have found some that will grow for me. And the splash of color against the browns of the desert are beautiful.
24. Chocolate. Enough said.
25. US soldiers. I never really knew any active duty soldiers until I moved out here. There is a military base where we go to church, and so I have had the honor of knowing some soldiers who attend our church. I am so thankful for them and their sacrifice. Their willingness to protect those they don't know. Humbling.
26. my inlaws. I know I am in the minority, because I love my inlaws, and am so thankful for them. I would have had a pretty tough time adjusting to life out here in the desert, if it wasn't for them. They are some of the most generous and kind people I know. And I am blessed.
27. books. I am a book freak. I love books. I love my bookshelves my husband built me that are overflowing with books. I love to just sit in my office and look at my busting bookshelves. I am weird, I know. I just love having a wide selection to read. I love losing myself in a good book. And I love reading parenting books.....because I need the advice! :)
28. candles. The smell of a good candle wafting throughout the house, can just make your home feel so cozy and welcoming. I love candles. Especially cake candles.
29. the sibling relationship between my girls. Yes, they can fight like cats and dogs, but really, for the most part, they play well together. All three share a room together. And nothing beats sitting around the table, watching them drink their hot chocolate (because they aren't allowed to drink coffee yet, although they are known to steal sips when a certain mom is distracted by something else), and talking and giggling. Sisterly bonds. Love that. I am thankful for that with my own sisters.
30. Rainbows. I have always had a thing for rainbows. My grandpa even worked rainbows into our wedding ceremony. I am so thankful for the reminder of God's presence. His care and provision. His love. His mercy and grace. All things I am unworthy of. But in His lavish love, He gives us these little glimpses of His glory. And being out here, we see lots of rainbows. Lots of double rainbows. And I am just reminded over and over that God is here. He is everywhere.
So there are just a few things I am thankful for. I am learning as I get older, that if you look for the good in situations, things that you can be thankful for, you are a much more pleasant person to be around. I'd much rather be a cup half full person, then a half empty person. But it takes work. It's so easy to be negative. But being a thankful person, I think makes you more sensitive to see the gifts God gives us everyday. Because He does gift us everyday. Sometimes in big ways, but mostly in small ways, if we would just slow down and see them. Happy Thanksgiving, and may we be thankful everyday!

Pinecones

2010-11-10T09:00:00.000-08:00

Doesn't the title sound Christmasy? This is a recipe for one of my favorite things to make in the crockpot. With homeschooling and eating our big meal at lunchtime, I have come to depend on my crockpot for a lot of my meals. It's so nice when the meal makes itself! This one is great because all you have to make is a vegetable.

Pinecones in Tomato Sauce

2 8oz cans of tomato sauce (I used one 15oz can)

1/4 tsp garlic powder

1/2 cup water

1 1/4 lbs ground beef (I just use one pound package of beef)

1/2 cup long cooking rice

2T onion, chopped

1/2 tsp salt

1/4 tsp pepper

Mix together tomato sauce, garlic powder and water in slow cooker. Combine remaining ingredients in large bowl, mix well. Shape into 24 pinecone shaped balls. Arrange in slow cooker. Cover and cook on low 7-8 hours.

Now, I make mine for lunch, cook on low and it's done in 4-5 hours. And this is also fun for little kids to shape the pinecones. My girls helped me just this morning. And it smells super yummy as it's cooking! I got this recipe in my Goosebery Patch Slow Cooker cookbook. There are lots of other great recipes in there, so if you like using your crockpot, you should definitely check it out!

Oh, and I am linking up over here today....http://www.raisinghomemakers.com/

field trip

2010-11-05T08:43:00.000-07:00

Before I share pictures of our field trip to the Chiricahua Monument from this past Sunday, somebody is turning three months old today!!!

I must say that with each baby I am enjoying this stage so much more. I guess because I realize now how quickly they move from this sweet cuddly, helpless stage into a mobile, independent little person. I just can't get over his smiles and how much he LOVES his sisters. Even when they give him NO personal space. He just smiles and laughs. I wish I could react to life that way.....

AnYwAy, here are some pics from our recent trip to the Monument

The girls has a blast climbing up the rocks and looking at the view. During harvest, Nate is so busy that it's hard to find any time to carve out as a family. Last week he spent a lot of time in the tractor, working ground so he can plant oats before we leave for Christmas, which by the way is a month from now! So he is working extra hard. One night he stayed out and disked the entire night. So we stayed home from church last Sunday and spent it as a family. We had homemade burgers and french fries, and then packed up the kids and headed to the Monument. We spent a few hours up there, climbing rocks and admiring God's creativity. Some of the rock structures are just amazing. It was the first time the girls were up there. Next time we might try camping up there.....yeah, I'll let you know how that turns out! :)

Review

2010-10-26T18:46:00.000-07:00

Today I felt it necessary, while folding laundry, to review and re-evaluate the reasons why we are homeschooling. You see, I had a rough morning. In fact, lately it feels like we are kind of in a rough spot. It feels like I am pulling teeth to get any of the lessons done. And I really hate that. So here are some of the reasons why we decided to homeschool:
-my husband's slow time is over the winter and right before harvest, so for us to travel anywhere together as a family, it would have to be right when school is starting or during the middle of the year.
-I want to encourage close relationships between my children. I want my girls to be each other's best friends. I have seen too many families drift apart once older siblings start school and feel more pressure to fit in with their friends and feel that is isn't "cool" to spend time with younger siblings or the family in general. I know this doesn't happen in all families, but knowing how I treated my younger brother and sisters when I was a teenager, I don't want this to happen in our family. And I am not saying that it couldn't happen in our home anyway, but I think homeschooling will discourage it.
-I want to iron out any relationship issues I have with my children now, when they are younger, then have them in school the majority of their day and only have a couple hours with them each day, and not realizing we have some issues until they are teenagers and til then, it could be too late. This is the one reason I have to remember when I am doubting myself. I'd rather deal with this now, then when they are in their teens. But it's still hard.
-I also don't like that school gets them the majority of the day. I only would get the morning, which is rushed, trying to get out the door to catch a bus, and a couple hours in the evening which would be spent doing homework, any extracurricular activities and the whole bedtime routine. Not much time for cultivating relationship. Not to mention that they would be tired and cranky, and not the most pleasant.
-I do believe that this is God's will for our lives in this season right now. And that is the most important reason of all. It's just hard when I have had a challenging morning, and I can hear the voice in my head saying that I am a terrible mother, that I am ruining my kids, that I am a bad teacher, that they aren't learning anything, why don't I just give up? But then I also have to remind myself that God doesn't condemn. He will convict, and He definitely has, when my attitude has been less then the best, but He will not condemn me, call me names, or make me feel like a loser. That is the Devil. The one who opposes anyone who is trying to live out their Holy calling, God's plan for their life. Who doesn't want to see close, loving families. He would rather have us running in a hundred different directions, not eating a meal together, or enjoying each other's company.
I know homeschooling can be a polarizing subject. I believe that it's a personal decision, something that God has to call you to do, because it's one of the hardest things you will ever do. I went to public school and had a pretty good experience. But that was 13 years ago and a lot has changed since then!
So I am glad that I had this little review. It's good to reflect and remember why we do the things we do. Just have to push through this tough time, the view from the mountain top will be beautiful!

the view from my front porch

In the Moment

2010-10-23T10:58:00.000-07:00

I have a confession to make. I don't always love being a mom. There. I said it. But it's true. I had no idea how hard being a mom would be. How I could get so frustrated and angry. At myself. Being a parent is one of the hardest jobs you will do because it forces you to look at yourself and all your flaws and have to deal with them. And I really don't like those kinds of self-evaluations! And there is the constant double standard of the way I can hold my children up to this high standard, that I demand they follow, yet I feel justified in my less then stellar attitudes when they fall short. Yeah, like I have it all together. Like I live in a constant state of perfection, where God never has to discipline me. Uh, huh. Like God never has to exert patience where I am concerned. Hmmm...
I get tired of breaking up fights. of refereeing, of cleaning up, of being needed. Dying to self is hard. Choosing the unselfish path, the selfless path, is difficult. But thank goodness we serve a God who delights in helping us, who never runs out, who we can run to, who will fill us up if we only ask. I just need to train myself to call on Him for help instead of feeling sorry for myself and getting frustrated and angry.
I was reading a blog a couple of weeks ago of a mom who was exhausted. She was giving her kids a bath and as she pulled each one out, she realized that one day she will miss this. Miss the messes, miss the reading books before bedtime, the chaos at mealtimes, the dirt and mud. Because one day, these little people will grow up and move out and have their own lives. Sure, they will come to visit, but the house will feel empty. Alone.
I was looking at some of Alaina's 5th birthday pictures, and there was one that just caught my eye. It was of Alaina, and I could see she was totally starting to lose that little girl look and moving more into a big girl look. It made me feel a little panicked. Like time is ticking away....which it is. I know with Landon, I am definitely enjoying the baby stage more now then ever before. Because I have understood how fast it truly goes. Because before you know it, you have a six year old, who is an individual with different ideas, who is watching everything you do and is very quick to call you out if you are just one time inconsistent. And it is this older stage that I need to learn to enjoy a little more. A little more grace, a little more mercy, a little more love, more hugs and kisses and snuggle time. Explaining and talking about things instead of thinking they are too young or they will just do it because I said so! There is a definite need for immediate obedience, but there is also a time for explanation and discussion as to why. Which is what I struggle with. Taking the time. What am I in such a big hurry for anyway? I need to remember that I am planting seeds in a life that one day I hope to witness a harvest in. Sometimes pulling the weeds, watering the ground and fertilizing it can get tiresome, sometimes downright annoying because you just dealt with that weed yesterday and it's back again, but in the same way God extends his grace and mercy to me, I need to be extending that to my children. No strings attached.
These are just some thoughts that have been swirling around in my head lately. I think the most important thing in this season of my life right now is to learn how to be present with my children, my husband, and most importantly my God. Because once I figure that out, everything else will fall into place. To be in constant conversation. I have my mind so focused on a needed quiet time, where I am uninterrupted for an hour. That's just not my season right now. And I need to learn to adjust. To be flexible. God hasn't gone anywhere. He is willing to meet me wherever I am. It's me. I need to quit putting God in a box of "I can only meet with God during a scheduled quiet time" and see Him in my everyday life. Talk to Him while I wash dishes, hang out laundry, wash the floor, and scrub the bathtub. He will meet me wherever I am. Wherever you are. Right Now.

11 weeks

2010-10-21T15:33:00.000-07:00

Here is our 11 week old boy!! He is growing way too fast. I expect him to start laughing any day. Sometimes we can get a little giggle out of him and then he smiles and looks a little confused as to what he was trying to do. And I think he is going to start waking up cooing soon as well, which is so nice. I hate to hear him waking up crying.

This picture is of Landon in the Philly's cap my mom got for him. It's a little too big yet, but it won't be long until it fits. Maybe in time for our big trip back to Pennsylvania for Christmas!

I am just loving all the free smiles he is throwing our way right now. It's so fun when they can interact with you. Only thing is, this boy is nosey! I don't remember my girls being so curious at this young of an age. I thought that happened when they were a little older. Landon will stop his feeding to look around if he hears his sisters. And my heart just melts when he stops nursing and smiles because he hears their voices, or his daddy. So sweet! We are just loving our baby. In fact, Alaina has been telling me multiple times a day that she wants a baby sister. Now. Like yesterday. I tried to explain to her that she has a baby sister and her name is Charlotte. But no, she wants herself a little baby. I also tried to explain to her that babies don't stay small, that they grow. To which she looked shocked, and then disappointed. Lets not rush this Alaina!

Homemaking Link up

2010-10-13T06:37:00.000-07:00

I am linking up over here today. Check out some thoughts on homemaking.
I am celebrating my #2 daughter's birthday today and picking up my cousin from the airport for a week long visit!!!! Yay!!!! Pictures sure to follow.....at some point. Happy Wednesday!

Somebody's turning 5!

2010-10-12T21:57:00.000-07:00

Alaina Grace is turning five today! Hard to believe five years ago, around 2 a.m., Alaina Grace was brought into this world, caught by her daddy, sans midwife! What a crazy night that was! And what a wild ride it has been with this girl since. As you can tell in the above picture, this girl is one imaginative, silly, tomboyish, sassafras kind of girl!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALAINA!

How to make your home sing...link up

2010-10-11T08:48:00.000-07:00

I linking up today over at Women Living Well. Today's challenge is to play peaceful, worshipful music in your home today, and to speak in a quiet, calm voice. I also have my candle lit from last week's challenge. I love the smell of fall wafting through my house this beautiful fall morning!
On my stereo I have playing some of my favorite. I love Travis Cottrell's cd, Jesus Saves. Every song on the CD speaks to me in some way. I wrote about that CD before, here. I also have a CD from Gateway Worship, and a group of 4 CDs called Home Again, I found them on the CBD website. They are very calming, acoustic praise and worship CDs. I used to have music playing throughout the house all day, but when I started homeschooling last year, I got out of the habit because I wanted to limit the distractions for my daughter, since her two younger sisters were enough of one! :) But we are taking this week off because my cousin is coming to visit for the week, so the music will play! I love to put all my CDs in and let them be shuffled. It's amazing how in the afternoon when the kids are laying down, God meets me in my living room. I don't know what song will play next, and just when I need it, He creates the best playlist. I love those moments.
This morning I was laying in bed and heard my girls just after six, so the speaking calmly and peacefully will be a challenge! I have already had a few spats this morning because three little girls got up too early, but hopefully I will be more intentional today about watching my tongue. I'll let ya know!

Home Sanctuary

2010-10-08T07:44:00.000-07:00

I am linking up over here today. I love to read her blog on ideas and tips for cleaning, and just making your home a sanctuary. Happy Friday!

Organization

2010-10-06T14:11:00.000-07:00

Another way home can be peaceful to me is when everything is running like clockwork. When the kids and I have a routine down, and it's working! Now this doesn't happen everyday, probably not every other day....when you have four kids six and under in the house, and one is only nine weeks old, there isn't much predictable in life. But we can strive and aim for routine. One thing that keeps our house running smoothly is a schedule. And by schedule I run more by a routine schedule then a time schedule. And flexibility is always important because, lets face it, things come up. Like my husband may call me for a ride from a field right before I am ready to start school, or one of the girls may spill something all over the floor, or, my favorite, you are just ready to walk out the door and your darling newborn decides to load his pants. Yes, life happens. But I like to get up in the morning with a plan. With a goal. And I thought I would share my weekly plan with you......
MONDAY
Breakfast Responsibilities:
Alaina & Charlotte: dry breakfast dishes
Mom: lunch prep (we eat our dinner at lunchtime)
Morning:
Morning Devotional: we are reading from the book of Mark right now, and also the book, Leading Little Ones to God (Sonlight curriculum)
Larissa is to bring out the laundry
School
Lunch Responsibilities:
Charlotte: set table
Larissa: dry and put away lunch dishes
Afternoon:
Kids: pick up toys before quiet time
TUESDAY
Breakfast Responsibilities:
Alaina & Char dry dishes
Mom: lunch prep
Morning:
Devotional: Bible and Leading Little Ones to God
Larissa: clean girls' bathroom
Mom: clean my bathroom
Char & Alaina: gather towels to wash
School
Lunch Responsibilities:
Alaina: set table
Larissa: dry and put away dishes
Afternoon:
Kids: put away toys before QT
WEDNESDAY
Breakfast Responsibilities:
Alaina & Char: dry breakfast dishes
Mom: lunch prep
Morning:
Devotional: Bible and Leading Little Ones to God
Larissa: help strip beds
Mom: bedding
Girls: dust bedrooms
Lunch Responsibilities:
Char: set table
Larissa: dry and put dishes away
THURSDAY
Breakfast Responsibilities:
Alaina & Char: dry breakfast dishes
Mom: lunch prep
Morning:
Devotional: bible and Leading Little Ones...
Larissa: wipe down bathroom
Char: roll out mom and dad's laundry
Alaina: girls laundry basket
School
Lunch responsibilities:
Alaina: set table
Larissa: dry and put away dishes
Afternoon:
Kids: pick up toys before QT
Evening
Awana
FRIDAY
Breakfast Responsibilities:
Alaina & Char: dry breakfast dishes
Mom: lunch prep
Morning:
Devotional: bible and Leading Little....
Larissa: wipe down chairs
Mom: vacuum
Girls: dust living room
school
Lunch Responsibilities:
Char: set table
Larissa: dry and put away dishes
Afternoon:
Kids: pick up toys before QT
Mom: vacuum
SATURDAY
Breakfast responsibilities:
Char & Larissa: dry breakfast dishes
Mom: clean kitchen
Char: help with any laundry
Lunch Responsibilities:
Alaina: dry dishes
Larissa: set table
Afternoon:
Kids: p/up toys before QT
Mom: wash floors
SUNDAY
I will usually sit down and plan our meals out for the next two weeks.

This is our routine for the week. I try to stick with it as much as possible. On Mondays I will also try to get to the store. I plan our meals out for two weeks, so I only go to the store every two weeks. We live over a half an hour away from the grocery store, so I try to write as extensive of a list as possible, because I just can't run to the store for a forgotten item. We also only do school four days a week. The other day is a catch up day, or a baking day with the girls. Our evenings are typically low key.
I read the book "Homeschooling at the Speed of Life", by Marilyn Rockett, and she included a CD rom of printouts of different schedules and plans that you can personalize to your life. I use these to write out my schedule and it hangs on a bulletin board in my kitchen. I also hang my menus there and grocery list. It's nice to have everything in one place.
I love to hear about others' schedules and routines, and ways that they choose to organize their homes, in hopes that I may learn something new that may save me time. Feel free to share yours......

A Haven

2010-10-04T20:22:00.000-07:00

I linked up today to the Women Living Well blog. Courtney is talking about how to make your home a haven. This week's challenge is to light a candle and every time you see the flame, you are to offer up a prayer for peace in your home. I like having lit candles, especially cake candles. They smell so nice and cozy. But today I made a special effort to pray for my family and that peace would reign in this house. It's been a while since I have done that. And as I did that today, I started thinking about what speaks peace to me, and how my home conveys that thought. One thing that I did when I first got married and moved out here to Arizona was to pray over each room in my house, that it would bring peace and comfort to all who entered. We sold that house and then moved into our current house. I was just thinking today about whether I prayed over each room in this house. I can't remember. That is something that could be done again.
Things that speak peace and comfort to me are fires in stoves or fireplaces, lit candles, the smell of something baking or potpourri on the stove top simmering away, soft blankets, big over sized chairs and sofas that you sink into (not so great for the back, though!), a hot drink (coffee!), soothing music, quietness, and kids playing well together. I must confess some days I feel as though that last one is a dream, rather than a reality. And more than our home feeling like a peaceful haven for friends and visitors to come too, it's also got to feel that way to my husband and my kids. A lot of times it feels like when my husband walks through the door, I am ready to vent to him about my day. How tired I am, how the kids fought, which one I had trouble with, how school went, and on and on it goes. Do you think he enjoys coming home to that? Probably not! I am trying to teach myself to wait, to discuss those things after he's had a chance to sit down, relax, and the kids have gone to bed. That verse in Proverbs comes to mind, you know, the one about a nagging wife? I don't want that to be me! And I don't want to be the wife who tears down the walls to her home. I also want our kids to feel as though this is a peaceful home. A place they want to come home to, to be in, to live life. To have the freedom to make mistakes and try again, and not be ridiculed. I have a long way to go, but God is changing my heart, opening my eyes to the ways in which I can improve the life of our home.

Linking up to making your home a haven

2010-10-04T07:34:00.000-07:00

I am linking up here today. I already have my candle, and once I get my contacts in and drink my cup of coffee, I will trust myself to light it! I have always wanted to have a cozy, warm home. A place where people feel welcomed and at peace. I am going to try and remember everytime I see my flickering candle to pray for peace in my home this week.

Firsts of Fall

2010-10-01T11:42:00.000-07:00

I wanted to share some pictures I got this morning of harvest. It is full swing here at our house. I love the smell of the corn in the air. Here are some action shots of Nate and my father in law, Ray, working this morning.

And here are some pictures of Landon. He has started smiling and I wanted to try and capture it. Unfortunately, baby doesn't cooperate during a photo shoot and flash those handsome smiles, like he does at his five in morning feedings!

Big sister is trying to get him to cooperate here. She doesn't quite understand that he is not ticklish yet...and doesn't think this is lots of fun.

Aren't we done yet, Mom?

Here is all of our crew (minus me...somebody has to take the picture!) Our future farmers of America!

I still haven't mastered the art of getting everyone to look at the camera at the same time. I think it might be a few years until this happens!

Larissa took this shot of me and my papoose in his moby carrier. I really like this thing. It is a little awkward getting into it at first, but one you get the hang of it, it's great. And it's really good on my back. Which is kind of important!

Running home. It seems like southeast Arizona hasn't gotten the memo yet that fall is here. It's still in the low 90s. But this was our morning. I cut off some cornstalks and tied them to my porch posts and we got some pumpkins the girls are going to paint. We don't carve here because it's still warm and the pumpkins just rot. Plus I have a lone chicken around who might decide to eat the pumpkin if it's carved and that would mean we'd have some disappointed chicks around here! I want to find some mums and marigolds to plant yet, and then maybe I'll show my fall display. Have I mentioned lately that I just heart fall?

Eight weeks

2010-09-29T19:39:00.000-07:00

Really? Is he eight weeks already? I can't believe that the 5th of October he will be two months old. Time is just a flyin' by. And he is growing like a weed! And sleeping like a champ. Landon isn't sleeping through the night, but he is sleeping six to seven hours stretches, which is great. I am hoping by 12 weeks he'll be sleeping through the night. Which...will...be...awesome!!!!
So, what have we been up to? Well, we are in the midst of school. This year has been challenging. First grade is definitely harder then kindergarten and is taking more time, which my eldest gets frustrated about. She doesn't understand why she isn't finished yet, and it's only been an hour! Reading has been difficult, so I've backed off and we are doing Teach your Child to Read in 100 Easy lessons. I am teaching Alaina at the same time, so it's a lot of review for Larissa right now, but it's rebuilding her confidence, and she also gets to help "teach" her sister at the same time, which being a firstborn, any time you get to be in charge is AWESOME!
I rearranged my living room today. I know, I know. For those of you who know me personally, I can picture you rolling your eyes right now. I'm sorry, I can't help it!! I decided that since it's fall, I wanted a more cozy feel to the room. And it's the first time I've rearranged in three months, so really, it was LONG overdue!
I was looking over my past posts and saw the one about being a no mom. I am really trying hard to be more of a yes mom. In fact, the other day Alaina asked if they could paint, and I said YES! They painted outside on the picnic table for a while. And then they wanted to make cookies and I said YES! And then they wanted to watch a video and I said NO! I have a love/hate relationship with the television. Does anyone else besides me get absolutely fed up with the trash on TV? There is nothing on almost all of the time! And I would much rather have the girls outside, using their imaginations. I don't remember just sitting in the house as a child, glued to the television. There were more important adventures to be had outside. But when I try to verbalize my feelings to them, they just look at me as if I've last my mind. Me?
Yes, sometimes I feel like I have lost my mind. Like this past Sunday, after church, driving to KFC, getting out of the truck and realizing that I had TWO different colored sandals on! I looked at Nate and asked him if he had noticed and he just started laughing and said no, he hadn't noticed. Of course I spent the rest of the day wondering if anyone at church had noticed but didn't want to embarrass me. You can't imagine my relief when my mother in law told me she hadn't noticed, and neither had another friend from church. Phew!
Well, I believe I've rambled on enough and I should go see what my kids are up to. HAPPY FALL YA'LL!

Thoughts

2010-09-21T07:07:00.000-07:00

I follow this mom's blog, and found this one very interesting, humbling, and convicting. I saw myself in some of these. What do you think?

Mama, Do You Like Your Children?

We made it!

2010-09-16T17:20:00.000-07:00

Yes, today marks six weeks since Landon was born. We have ~~survived~~ been enjoying this season so much! Actually, it all kind of feels like a blur. I forgot how hard it is the first six weeks. Now that my head is above water, usually, it's nice to start feeling normal again! Our little boy is usually getting up once a night, which is great, and he is becoming more content during his wake time, which is a HUGE relief. I know it's tough with three big sisters who just love him so much and just have a need to be within four inches of his little face. Over stimulation anyone? He's dealing......which I guess he really has no choice.
Anyhow, here is a picture of our little guy at six weeks of age....

he is getting so close to smiling on purpose!

Since this is mostly family who read this, I won't apologize for all the pictures!!! And here is one of Larissa at her ballet class. This is our new thing on Wednesday nights. I would have more, but she noticed me with the camera and became totally silly. Seriously. I know that's hard to believe. I guess I need to be more discreet.

I love fall

2010-09-12T14:11:00.000-07:00

I love fall. I love the crispness of the air, being able to drink my coffee outside on the porch swing without breaking a sweat, wearing jeans and sweatshirts, and the changing leaves....oh wait, I live in southeastern Arizona, and the leaves don't really change colors! At least not the wide variety of colors as other places, but it does cool down, at least at night and during the morning, so I can't complain. I love cooler weather. I like the different clothes you can wear during cooler weather....like mainly jeans, and sweaters, and sweatshirts, and boots.
But I digress, to celebrate the cooling down, we had a campfire last night. It's basically an excuse for the girls to eat TONS of marshmallows.....here's a few pictures......

Sisters!

Landon's first campfire

pretty sunset

Larissa roasting

Char & Alaina just eating regular marshmallows

Enough all ready, mom!

First day of school

2010-09-07T20:02:00.000-07:00

Today was our first day of school. Larissa is now a first grader. I thought we would take a picture to commemorate the day.

Here is try number one

And try number two. I love that deer in headlights look Charlotte is sporting, and I am not quite sure what is up with Larissa sticking her tongue out.
I am so happy to say that our first day of school went well. Actually better then well. After my day yesterday, I wasn't too sure about starting school today. Yesterday my darling baby boy refused to nap during the afternoon, and I was exhausted with trying to keep him happy. And my girls had played hard with their cousins during the day and were tired and shall we say....crabby? Plus I was coming home alone, since my hubby was on the road. So to say I was feeling overwhelmed was a slight understatement. But I made it through bedtime, and woke up at 3 am to feed Landon. He had slept 5 hours! And then again at 6:30, so technically he only got up once during the night. It's amazing how you can feel like a totally new person when you get a stretch of 4-5 hours! I put him down for a morning nap, the girls got up, we did our morning chores and school all before Landon got up again. That was awesome. And during Larissa's reading time, she gave me a hug and said, "I love you mom. You are a good mom." Tears come to my eyes now, just remembering it. My oldest and I can butt heads, and especially lately, we've been going through a rough patch, and to hear those words from her was like a balm to my battered spirit. Parenting will cause you to question yourself like nothing else, and to hear those words of affirmation from her, was like God Himself whispering those words to me.
And here are a few pictures of how we spent our Labor Day...

Nothing says summer like a slip n slide, right?

Alaina and Charlotte

Grandpa and Kody

I love this picture of Char running through the water

Waiting their turn

Storm in the distance

Love this picture of the grain bins in the background

Twinkle toes running down the slide

My mother-in-law's beautiful flowers....wish mine looked so nice!!

Kody just getting splashed by his big sister

Larissa & Salma

Love this picture!

Grandma & Char

Flying in the yard

Bubbles in the wind

My man's truck and load of copper

Hugging daddy goodbye

The cousins blowing bubbles